Shnoozums
scientific name: Rattus Shnoozumus
Several species of shnoozums exist today. The rare, highly sought after "Shnoozadook" is thought to be the most cat-like of the shnoozums. They are also by far the most intelligent, learning how to mimic genuine cats by meowing, and making a noise that sounds similar to purring, but is anatomically a completely different process. It is true that once a shnoozums chooses your dwelling there's no getting rid of it. Shnoozums were once hunters that took care of insects and smaller rodents but today are known for their incredibly refined pallets. After domestication the shnoozums grew accustomed to eating cooked foods and are famous for their insatiable appetite for fine cheeses and exotic seafood dishes. Eating these cooked foods (particularly seafood) can account for the development of higher intelligence in the species.
Several species of shnoozums exist today. The rare, highly sought after "Shnoozadook" is thought to be the most cat-like of the shnoozums. They are also by far the most intelligent, learning how to mimic genuine cats by meowing, and making a noise that sounds similar to purring, but is anatomically a completely different process. It is true that once a shnoozums chooses your dwelling there's no getting rid of it. Shnoozums were once hunters that took care of insects and smaller rodents but today are known for their incredibly refined pallets. After domestication the shnoozums grew accustomed to eating cooked foods and are famous for their insatiable appetite for fine cheeses and exotic seafood dishes. Eating these cooked foods (particularly seafood) can account for the development of higher intelligence in the species.
That rat is exceptionally fluffy, I think its a shnoozums
All the cheese is gone, I think there's a shnoozums in the apartment.
Girlfriend- "There's a shnoozums in the basement. Try to lure it out with some pan seared tilapia and locatelli romano."
Boyfriend- "Already tried, there's no use. Once you have a shnoozums there's no getting rid of it."
Girlfriend-"Ahh this one must be a Shnoozadook"
Upon bringing my "cat" to the vet, a fecal sample revealed that it was in fact a shnoozums.
All the cheese is gone, I think there's a shnoozums in the apartment.
Girlfriend- "There's a shnoozums in the basement. Try to lure it out with some pan seared tilapia and locatelli romano."
Boyfriend- "Already tried, there's no use. Once you have a shnoozums there's no getting rid of it."
Girlfriend-"Ahh this one must be a Shnoozadook"
Upon bringing my "cat" to the vet, a fecal sample revealed that it was in fact a shnoozums.
Shnoozums by prof. swizzle October 15, 2016
