A vicious creature that lives in the ocean and attacks campers. Here are some rules to follow to prevent attracting these beasts:
1. Don't play the clarinet poorly.
2. Don't wave an active flashlight back and forth. (Flashlights are considered natural prey.)
3. Don't stomp around; they take it as a challenge.
4. Don't eat cheese. (Cubed. Sliced is just fine.)
5. Never wear a sombrero in a goofy fashion.
6. Or clown shoes.
7. Or a hoop skirt.
8. NEVER, EVER, EVER, SCREECH LIKE A CHIMPANZEE.
9. In the event of an attack, do not run. They are agitated by it and will seize the opportunity to attack again.
10. Do not limp, either. They hate that even more than running.
In the event you detect a nearby sea bear, or otherwise feel unsure you are located in sea bear territory, draw a perfect circle in the sand, sit in the middle, and wait for the danger to pass. An oval is not sufficient.
1. Don't play the clarinet poorly.
2. Don't wave an active flashlight back and forth. (Flashlights are considered natural prey.)
3. Don't stomp around; they take it as a challenge.
4. Don't eat cheese. (Cubed. Sliced is just fine.)
5. Never wear a sombrero in a goofy fashion.
6. Or clown shoes.
7. Or a hoop skirt.
8. NEVER, EVER, EVER, SCREECH LIKE A CHIMPANZEE.
9. In the event of an attack, do not run. They are agitated by it and will seize the opportunity to attack again.
10. Do not limp, either. They hate that even more than running.
In the event you detect a nearby sea bear, or otherwise feel unsure you are located in sea bear territory, draw a perfect circle in the sand, sit in the middle, and wait for the danger to pass. An oval is not sufficient.
Whether or not the sea bear exists is up for debate, as only one person is known to have survived a sea bear attack. (Witnesses claim he was incompetent enough to try all known ways to attract a sea bear.)
by Intelligence001 February 7, 2017
A vicious creature that attacks under sea campers. A sea Bear is drawn to many things, which include wearing a sunbrarow in a funny way, eating cubed cheese, playing the clarinet badly, and dancing badly. The only known defense to a Sea Bear attack is a Sea Bear circle. NOT AN OVAL! don't run, walk limp, or skip away, or it will charge.
by Shankomatic June 29, 2009
The Sea Bear is a cold blooded mammal that lives in the ocean and is a fearsome warrior in the depths. Originally evolving from the Megalodon, the Sea Bear is widely known to eat Sperm Whale, Swallows, and the occasional other Sea Bears off of Naval Bases. It is especially fond of eating seamen off of its poopdeck. The Sea Bear, also known in its Greek name as θάλασσα αρκούδα, tends to reside on Sand Bars, where other Sea Bears frolic on the low depths of the Sandbar. The Seabear has very few mortal enemies, as it is known as a fearsome predator of the ocean blue. It is known to have several enemies, such as Swallows and Cayla Plot, however, it usually is able to fend off them with its very large claws and penis.
by seabearlover August 2, 2009
an aggressive species of bear that only lives in the ocean. it only becomes aggressive if a bad clearenet is played, but fear not because there is a method of defending yourself from a sea bear. just draw a semi perfect circle around you.
watch out its a sea bear
by XxX_ad0lf_h1tl3r_XxX August 29, 2017
Aquatic mammal that is attracted to women on the rag that choose to swim in the ocean. Deadlier than sharks and more persistants than horny frat boys. Try not to be in the water around ladies on the flow.
Vacation was great until Celeste got attacked by that sea bear. Thats what she gets for swimming on the rag. stupid bitch.
by arkansas85 July 21, 2006
The only known and reliable defense mechanism during a viscous sea-bear attack. However, this circle must be a perfect circle grown in the sand. Once the circle is finished, stand inside it and don't move!
by ShineeGoof June 17, 2015
Morbidly obese woman. Often spotted in walmarts around the globe driving an electric scooter. Normally wearing a mumu of sorts resembling a shower curtain. Also known to frequently sit in delapitated residences watching reruns of Maury povich surrounded with an array of junk food around them and several cats. Not known for bathing or changing their mumus often. They live primarily off of cheetos and camel cigarettes. More often then not their life mate will be an awfully slender poor man who tends to wear wife beaters with mustard stains
by the one and only PRO-B January 3, 2016