Runner Guidelines

1. It is important to load up on carbohydrates 2-4 hours before a big run.
Try a breakfast of a bagel, a banana (good cramp-crusher), oatmeal, strawberries, and/or some orange juice.
But from now on, eat all of your breakfast runner-style.
Liquids are digested faster. So slop it in a blender, and smoothiefy it.
That way, no energy is wasted, and it's all about the run.

2. Don't forget to give yourself plenty of positive reinforcement.
Say to yourself things like:
This is gonna be your best run yet.
You're going to accomplish all of your goals.
You are a robot sent from the future to win the marathon.
It's go time.
This will be the performance of a lifetime.
It is on, till the break of dawn!
You are a live wire, a spark plug, a dynamo.
You are unstoppable, unbeatable, untouchable.
You are a relentless driving force.
You are a timeless powerhouse.
You will complete this run, come home, get in your big underpants, and take a nap.
Facial feedback and self-spoken support are key factors in fueling those tanks and charging up those batteries.

3. Chafing or blisters can occur in a number of areas, including the feet, armpits, and especially the nipple region.
Use petroleum jelly on the affected areas. This will relieve any irritated skin.

4. Remember the "Rest Day". Keep it holy.

5. Nose running like a waterfall or a faucet? A real gusher? Move others away from the spray zone, and snotrocket. Total jetstream. Just open the floodgates. Aim steadily, and fire.
I ran the New York City Marathon with helpful tips and pointers provided through the Runner Guidelines. You should totally check it out. It's Reader Recommended!
by TheHoppah22 March 11, 2014
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runner's whip

Runner's whip occurs when you are running but your dick be too long so it keeps whipping back and forth until you get bruises on your inner thighs.
Wife: Babe, what happened to your legs?
Me: Oh these bruises?
Wife: Yea
Me: Went for a run last night...
Wife: Oh no, did someone hit you?
Me: Nah bitch, it's runner's whip from my fat long dick!
by this_is_true February 13, 2018
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Certified runner

A wet farts that you are unable to catch and makes its way all the way down past your knee before you can get to the bathroom.
Oh no I just started and I think it's a certified runner I can feel it going down my leg
by Wisest rizzler April 27, 2025
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runner bang

A runner bang is where you have sex with someone who is under the impression that you love that person and then never see that person again.
"Aw mate I just fucked this chick and ran away"
"So you did a runner bang..... Nice!"
by Super mega penis boy December 26, 2017
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Covid Runner

A person who normal does not run but has taken up excess running or jogging due to the pandemic
by jonnymeanderer March 31, 2020
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fendi runner

This is Palm Beach County Haitian-American "Zoe" lingo meaning a girl used as a money mule for scamming, 🅿️eddling 🅿️ussy type shit 🅿️🫡
Aye Zoe, you think that hoe a Fendi Runner?

Hell yea she help me eat but that ain't my girl, she for the streets

LMAOOOO SHE GRITZZZ KID
by Wally Water 305 October 31, 2022
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merge runner

A person who uses merge lanes to cut ahead of traffic.
I got cut off by a merge runner!
by MedivalTempo February 03, 2018
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