No Pause Syndrome 

A syndrome whose primary symptom is never hitting the pause button (especially if one is texting while videogaming/watching tv). It is typically acquired through.

1. Excessive online multiplayer gaming.
2. TiVO/DVR deficiency

Effects of this syndrome include

1. Virtual decapitation by zombie teeth.
2. Getting beat to a pulp by Joker's henchmen or Goombas.
3. Missing the most dramatic moment of the Thursday episode of Days of Our Lives.
4. Constantly annoying friends by asking them to find their favorite shows online despite them not being available for public streaming on the TV channel's website yet as they aired less than 48 hours ago (this effect may not occur if the patient is somewhat internet savvy).

A Treatment plan includes:

1. Having others yell at the patient for having the syndrome, while hitting the pause button when needed, if possible.
2. Cancelling the patient's Xbox Live or WoW (World of Warcraft) Subscription.
3. Getting the patient a DVR.
4. Fixing the patient's pause button if it is broken.
5. Cancelling the patient's cell service so they'll stop wasting their lives texting, while wasting their lives watching TV or playing video games...

My brother has a horrible case of No Pause Syndrome from playing too much Borderlands. I can't count how many times I've seem him get turned into swiss cheese while playing games due to that.

My friends are constantly missing parts of episodes of Jersey Shore as they don't have a DVR. I'm sick of them asking me to find them their shows on veevr and what not.

No Pause Syndrome by Jsybird July 13, 2013