Night Shits
The urgent need to shit late at night, typically waking the individual up from a deep sleep. This usually occurs between 1am and 4am. Upon waking up, the individual will feel a heavy cramping in their stomach and will be forced to walk hunched over to the washroom, where they have an ungodly bowel movement. Sitting hunched over on the toilet, the individual will typically be praying to God to either:
1. Put a stop to the shits after the next one emerges, or;
2. End their life rather than forcing them to endure another minute of this.
Upon completion, the individual will feel somewhat better, but be forced to wipe with a significant amount of toilet paper.
The night shit continues once the individual returns to bed. Immediately upon collapsing into their bed, the stomach will make a rumbling sound and the heavy cramped feeling will come back with a vengeance. This time, the individual may be forced to run back to the washroom. The same process then repeats itself. This time, the stomach will feel significantly better at the end.
Night shits are usually between 2 and 4 cycles of the above description.
Note: Not all shits that take place at night are "night shits" proper. They must conform to the above description. They are very rare, typically occurring between 1-3 times per year in the average individual.
1. Put a stop to the shits after the next one emerges, or;
2. End their life rather than forcing them to endure another minute of this.
Upon completion, the individual will feel somewhat better, but be forced to wipe with a significant amount of toilet paper.
The night shit continues once the individual returns to bed. Immediately upon collapsing into their bed, the stomach will make a rumbling sound and the heavy cramped feeling will come back with a vengeance. This time, the individual may be forced to run back to the washroom. The same process then repeats itself. This time, the stomach will feel significantly better at the end.
Night shits are usually between 2 and 4 cycles of the above description.
Note: Not all shits that take place at night are "night shits" proper. They must conform to the above description. They are very rare, typically occurring between 1-3 times per year in the average individual.
Person A: "You look tired today."
Person B: "It's because I had a case of the night shits last night. They kept me up for 2 hours."
Person A: "I thought you smelled like shit."
Person B: "It's because I had a case of the night shits last night. They kept me up for 2 hours."
Person A: "I thought you smelled like shit."
Night Shits by 00Zero00 December 20, 2010
