Nature's Alarm Clock
Noun. The act of awakening in absolute astonishment to yourself doing any of the following:
- wetting the bed, pretty much standard and definitely the most common of nature's alarm clocks.
- ejaculating, also known as nocturnal emmissions; most commonly found with young pubescent men who have not yet mastered the fine art of masturbation, or just weird fucks who don't masturbate for some god foresaken reason.
- shitting, definitely the rarest and most frightening of all of nature's alarm clocks. Don't ask me how this happens but rumor says that it is most commonly experienced in things called fraternity houses.
- wetting the bed, pretty much standard and definitely the most common of nature's alarm clocks.
- ejaculating, also known as nocturnal emmissions; most commonly found with young pubescent men who have not yet mastered the fine art of masturbation, or just weird fucks who don't masturbate for some god foresaken reason.
- shitting, definitely the rarest and most frightening of all of nature's alarm clocks. Don't ask me how this happens but rumor says that it is most commonly experienced in things called fraternity houses.
Young Man: "I just woke up and my weiner was glued to my leg, and I had this bizarre feeling of euphoria and relaxation."
Knowledgable Elder: "Oh, don't worry youngster, nothin' to fret about thats just Nature's Alarm Clock telling you its time to get up and apparently do some laundry."
Knowledgable Elder: "Oh, don't worry youngster, nothin' to fret about thats just Nature's Alarm Clock telling you its time to get up and apparently do some laundry."
Nature's Alarm Clock by Brad Pinto February 5, 2006
