The Ye Olde English way of saying "Morons".
While I was in SLC, I kept refering to the locals as 'morons' instead of mormons. The more they got pissed, the more I laughed.
Get the merch
Get the mormons neck gaiter and mug.
Believe in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

I spent 18 years of my life as a mormon, and have since denounced my "birthright" by finally breaking free from the monotonous thinking and lessons drilled into my head. I have heard all the lessons many, many times and do understand what I'm talking about--- I was once an active mormon who "believed" in it completely. With that being said, let's begin:

They believe that Joseph Smith was a prophet, saw God, and translated the golden plates into what is called "The Book of Mormon." (Hence, the term "mormon") They have thirteen articles of faith describing their beliefs.

There are 3 sections of heaven (Celstial being the highest, Telestial is the middle, and Terrestial is the lowest) and "hell" is called "outer darkness" and only very special people who have actually "seen" God and "know" the church is true but deny it go there. Only good mormons get to go to the highest level of heaven and only those in the top will become "Gods" of their own planets. (It's the true belief. I've heard it a billion times. It is also one reason I left the church--- Only mormons are allowed in the highest degree of heaven, but no worries, if you convert you get to be special too! :D ...I find that to be concieted, elitist bull shit.)

*There is to be no sex before marriage. (In fact, it is highly discourage to even engaed in "Passionate Kissing" because it arouses sexual feelings. I don't lie--- see the "Strength of the Youth" pamphlet all lovely mormon kids get. I think that sounds like a scary transition from nothing before marriage to all of a sudden sex after.)
*No drugs, no alcohol, no coffee, and no tea are allowed. (additionally, drinking caffiene is discouraged)
*Guys are encourage to go on missions when they turn 19, though girls can go too if they wish. They pay for it with their own money.(and though people say it's of their own free will, and there is no pressure... there is actually a big deal of pressure and a lot of Mormon girls refuse to marry a guy if they haven't gone on their mission. {I was a mormon. I live in Utah. I have seen that many times.})

*They also believe that being a homosexual is a sin. It is bad to be gay, and the person has "chosen" to be gay rather than being born that way. (One BIG reason I left the church. This has always bugged me. I don't think being gay is a sin, I don't think they choose to be gay, I think it's just predjudice crap.)
*Females' main purpose is to have children and to be a mother. They get no position of power in the church except for over other women. (They try to placate women by saying that they are super duper special because they get to have kids, making them very holy :D yay! ... that's just not even fair. Also, I have had lessons about how it is bad for women to be in the workforce because their place is in the home and that's where god wants them... As you can see, this another reason I left the church--- I get fucked over for being a girl. :D)
*Also, blacks were not allowed to have preisthood (a special gift given only to the men that allows them to bless people, and have high church positions) in the Church until all of a sudden "God" says it's time to give them the power... Amazing how that happened around the same time as the Civil Rights Movement... It certainly wasn't social pressure that made them change their minds about black people... certainly not... it was "God."

I do feel like most people born into the church were brainwashed (but you'll get mauled if you say that to them) but I think they do the best they can. And if it works for them, great! Didn't work for me...

Mormons are typically very nice, helpful people though and I am glad that they stand up for what they believe is true. :) and who knows, maybe they're right... but i doubt it.

Mormons are sexist, homophobic ex-racists... But they mean well and have good beliefs in home, family, and helping others.
by Sai52 May 15, 2008
Get the mug
Get a mormons mug for your friend Zora.
A commonly misunderstood and stereotyped christian religion. Called Mormons because of their unique book, "The Book of Mormon" - which is called such after the name of the person that put the ancient records together and buried them. Really named "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints" or LDS, for short. Nobody is required to pay without their own will. There are no rules, there are guidelines.
Mormons are not forced to become missionaries. There are a lot of people that never go on one. Only the most devoted go on missions, mormons are not brainwashed.
A religion that beleives in where one is going in this life and after this life, rather than focusing completely on the past and the death of Christ. There is no cross on the church buildings for this reason.
A religion that beleives that Everyone has a chance. Always and forever. Mormons beleive in forgivness and eternal salvation. They beleive that people that never heard of God before have a chance.
They believed that smoking and drinking was bad before there anyone knew it was hazardous to health.
Mormons are most commonly nice and have good morals.
Many LDS live in Utah.
Most mormons love Jello.
Mormons are treated with prejudice.
Missionaries walk around all day 15 hours a day for 2 years, and have 80% of the doors SLAMMED in their face.
Brigham Young did not commit suicide.
by shutupdangit May 15, 2004
Get the merch
Get the Mormon neck gaiter and mug.
pathetic group of mindless imbeciles who go onto urbandictionary.com to try and cast as many votes against the honest definitions of them like it will help there cause. why mormons are even searching a web site like urbandictionary.com is beyond me... it is naturally suited for content that may be insulting and against there religion.
"can u believe what they said about mormon's on urbandictionary.com? i went and cast my vote against them because that made me flippin' mad!"
by nat(e) February 23, 2005
Get the merch
Get the mormon neck gaiter and mug.
Crazy cultist group that believed black people were unholy, until a sudden "revalation in 1977", when they realized it was not good public relations. They preform many satanic-like rituals in their temples. They have strict beliefs that if you are not mormon, you will not be going to heaven, and they look down upon you. I know these things because I lived in SLC, Utah, and as you may have guessed, I am not mormon. The mormons send out these insanely, borderline obnoxious, missonaries to convert you to their religion created by a crazy guy in 1830, named Joseph Smith. He said he got all the information for the religion on tablets that he read out of a hat. These people deny they are brainwashed, but how would they know, the brainwashing begins when they are too young to realize what is being said to them. They have secret handshakes and passwords to get into heaven. The mormon people pay 10% of ALL of their income to the church. Joseph Smith was a very racist man, he was strongly biased towards jews and negros. The mormons call their church, "THE Church," or "THE Church of Jesus Christ." They think they are the only true religion.
I feel like I am surrounded by insanity, as do most other non-mormons in SLC.
by aNONmormonKID August 07, 2005
Get the merch
Get the mormon neck gaiter and mug.
Run of the mill Cult. Church of Jesus Christ and the Latter Day Saints, as they call themselves, have the mixture of common Free Masons and brainwashing. Started by a common theif, Joseph Smith, who based everything on stolen printing plates.
The Mormon teching beleives that you can actually become a god yourself. The idea that one can acheive godhood is apealing to the foolish.
The Mormon cult is an example of the last days.
by Doug Hightower September 12, 2005
Get the merch
Get the Mormon neck gaiter and mug.