Mictonicar 

A mythical creature possessing the incredible power to cause the Rapture with a flick of the hoof. Mictonicars reside in the Rapturian Countryside and serve as noble steeds to Prince Unicorn Fireblack and Princess Unicorn Alesa. Although most Mictonicars live in the large, royal cluster, many prefer to ride solo, roaming freely around Rapturia because some are just that independent, you know? Many people want to live the life of a Mictonicar because it's so alluring a life, but full Mictonicar status is unreachable for any man. Because of the simple fact that it is impossible for anyone to attain the swag of a being as fantastical as this, the Mictonicar has the power to award anyone a small Mictonicar moment whenever the mood strikes it. It is an omnipresent deity. It sees you when you're sleeping, it knows when you're awake like Santa Claus, only better. Why is it better you ask? Why would you ask why? You already know. When one experiences a Mictonicar moment, he or she knows it. It is an instinct thrust upon you by your guardian Mictonicar. This moment, this instinct is known as #LOAM (Life of a Mictonicar). Important note; Mictonicar MUST be capitalized if spelled out. If it isn't, your guardian Mictonicar will strike you with a violent syphilis.

1) Say, did you see that Mictonicar leap across the dusted sky?

2) Jared just had shoulder surgery and is wearing a hefty sling. That's so #LOAM.

3) Mei quit her job at Toys 'R' Us and pursued her 2 true passions; church choreography and juggling fire on unicycles. That was a very #LOAM decision on her part.

4) July 21st marked Rachel's 6th birthday and out of all her gifts, the mini backpack from Uncle Robby was by far the most #LOAM.

5) Jenna made the #LOAMest decision of her life; she adopted a plastic minority named Jamal.

6) T.J: Say, can Mictonicars dance?

Mackenzie: Why of course they can dance! Mictonicars can do whatever the eff they want to do!

Mictonicar by Princess Unicorn Alesa October 1, 2011