Masturbaids

An infection in a small cut or laceration on the hand due to unsanitary self love.

" See this little red patch on my hand, mate ? That's Masturbaids ! Got it last night after a dirty wank."

by C. Albano December 9, 2008

masturbatastrophe

When the act of pleasuring one's self goes utterly wrong.

MARK: "I don't think I'll ever be able to face my family again"
DAVE: "Shit, what happened dude?"
MARK: "Well, last night as I was pouring myself a hand-shandy, the cat walked into my room and jumped on my lap, just when I reached my vinegar strokes"
DAVE: "I'm sure he'll get over it"
MARK: "But that's not the worst part; before I could clean him off, my little sister ran in and grabbed him. Later I saw the cat walking around with a mohican while my sister kept saying something about becoming a pet stylist"
DAVE: "Wow. That truly was a masturbatastrophe"

by Chud Brunner October 30, 2011

Masturbatics

The art of acrobatically masturbating.

Any chump can swing from a trapeze. However, it takes true skill to do so while simultaneously beating your meat, in an astounding feat of masturbatics.

by Darryl Strawberry Shortcake September 24, 2014

masturbanished

Similar to being sexiled, except the reason you can't get into your rooom is that your roomie is enjoying some single player entertainment.

Matt: Hey let's go play Scrabble in your room.
Jill: My room's on the other side of campus. Can't we just use yours?
Matt: Well, when I walked in to get the board, William was under the covers with a box of tissues on the bed. Which is to say I think he's busy.
Jill: And were totally using my room.

----

Amy: Why didn't you guys just play in Matt's room?
Jill: Um, his roommate was busy.
Matt: We got masturbanished.

by Scrabblesaurus Rex July 17, 2006

Masturbatastic

Any material which is worth masturbating to may be referred to as masturbatastic. Pornography, or anyone you would like to see featured in pornography is classed as masturbatastic. 'Wanktastic' is an acceptable variation.

1) This shit is masturbatastic.
2) Your sister is masturbatastic.

by Dr. Bint June 7, 2004

Masterbaiden

Someone who masturbates on a school camp (or on a camp in general.)

And/Or

Someone who masturbates more than twice a day.

Guy #1: "Hey, did you heard (random name) was masturbating in his/her sleeping bag last night?

Guy #2: "OMG what a Masterbaiden!"

And/Or

Guy #1: "Dude, (Random Name) masturbated three times today!"

Guy #2: "OMG what a Masterbaiden!"

by Mr.WasSoTrue October 13, 2010

masturbaited

When you click on a porno and get a cooking show instead.

Me:Hey man I got masturbaited last night.
Freind: Really?
Me:Yeah all I got was a cooking show.

by It's super soup March 27, 2015