A small furry animal. Once prevalent in Europe (especially France), this close relative of the human is often under four feet tall and frequently confused with a gerbil. In modern times, they can be quite hard to find, spending the majority of their time in juivebear caves, where it is believed that they eat poosage almost constantly. While their mating habits are largely a mystery to researchers, empirical data suggests that they frequently seek out human mates belonging to ethnic minorities, particularly Pakistanis.

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods