Japildo
A male dildo used primarily on the japeye (visible part of the male urethra) and enjoyed by 87% of the male population (COSMO Poll: March 2007 Japildo Craze Sweeps Nation). A japildo can be described as a thin streamlined object to be used for the purpose of ecstactic pleasuring of the inside of the penis by a rapid relentless thrusting motion to achieve ultimate sexual climax without your girlfriend ever needing to know! ;)
The history of the japildo goes back to the rule of Henry VIII. Frustration at the lack of a male heir to carry on the dynasty left Henry disappointed and aroused so he sent envoys to the court of King Francis I of France. A committee was to decide the fate of Henry's massive throbbing erection. The decision was final, a new instrument was to be invented, the holy right honourable japildo ordained on papal order by Pope Clement VII. This sexual revolution solved the deep malaise infecting Henry's heart and mind instead of beheading his wives the King would spend many joyous days furiously thrusting his holy japildo deep into his defiant throb-on and the Kingdom of England went through a golden age of prosperity and economic development. The japildo has been lost to the world due to the ravages of time and the sexual desires of history's greatest leaders. It was last seen pleasuring the japeye of Akbar the Great Emperor of the Mughal Court of Hindustan but has since vanished.
The history of the japildo goes back to the rule of Henry VIII. Frustration at the lack of a male heir to carry on the dynasty left Henry disappointed and aroused so he sent envoys to the court of King Francis I of France. A committee was to decide the fate of Henry's massive throbbing erection. The decision was final, a new instrument was to be invented, the holy right honourable japildo ordained on papal order by Pope Clement VII. This sexual revolution solved the deep malaise infecting Henry's heart and mind instead of beheading his wives the King would spend many joyous days furiously thrusting his holy japildo deep into his defiant throb-on and the Kingdom of England went through a golden age of prosperity and economic development. The japildo has been lost to the world due to the ravages of time and the sexual desires of history's greatest leaders. It was last seen pleasuring the japeye of Akbar the Great Emperor of the Mughal Court of Hindustan but has since vanished.
Chuck: Hey Chad do you think I can get this barbed wire all the way down my jap's eye??
Chad: Like totally dude I've seen my dad do it with my moms dildo it looks freaking awesome!
Mohinder: Thats a sick idea! Lets give Corey a ring and propose a lads night in japildo style!!!
A kitten used a mitten as a japildo on a cold blustery winters day.
Brad: Hey you heard that Carl Thomas Peters Jackson broke up with his girlfriend and now he spends all day violently cranking and using his brand new throbbing golden japildo?
Jesse: Freaking awesome dude!
Got women troubles? Tired of their whining and incessant nagging? Well look no further we have the answer for you! The Japildo 3000 comes as standard with 27 settings, adjustable 1-24 inch shaft, expanding girth to fit all your lonesome sexual needs, intense vibration, thrusting capacity with speeds upto 700mph. No need to buy them breakfast just batteries!
Chad: Like totally dude I've seen my dad do it with my moms dildo it looks freaking awesome!
Mohinder: Thats a sick idea! Lets give Corey a ring and propose a lads night in japildo style!!!
A kitten used a mitten as a japildo on a cold blustery winters day.
Brad: Hey you heard that Carl Thomas Peters Jackson broke up with his girlfriend and now he spends all day violently cranking and using his brand new throbbing golden japildo?
Jesse: Freaking awesome dude!
Got women troubles? Tired of their whining and incessant nagging? Well look no further we have the answer for you! The Japildo 3000 comes as standard with 27 settings, adjustable 1-24 inch shaft, expanding girth to fit all your lonesome sexual needs, intense vibration, thrusting capacity with speeds upto 700mph. No need to buy them breakfast just batteries!
Japildo by Malcom McCroat December 5, 2009
