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Illinois State University 

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Home of the almost high school dropouts who are too scared to leave home, represented by Reggie the redbird. Surrounded by nothing but corn fields, windmills, and Tony's Tacos. Where the closest mall is about 12 minutes away and the drive is not worth it. It is full of workers who can't get a job anywhere else and scream at you when you walk past H and M. Home of mid-major athletes who are good but not good enough to go power 5. Full of arrogant and cocky football and basketball players who talk about going to the league even though no one shows up to their games. Has athletic facilities that are so shitty and outdated they give you cancer. Where there is competition between dining hall food and which one is better, "links or wattys?" Tri-tower dorms are home of the athletes, Watterson dorms are home of the frat boys and sorority girls, and hewet-manchester is home of people who no one gives a fuck about. Where students spend their weekends 'downtown' grinding on random boys at Daddios, not able to leave the bar with out getting stopped by cops who have nothing better to do than give out drinking tickets. With all that being said, Illinois State University is home of students who either couldn't get into a better school, or wanted to stay in state, and they do manage to party hard and have a good time.
Look at those fucking degenerates, they must go to Illinois State University
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Illinois State University 

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All of the ugliest guys in Illinois shoved into one school. If you find someone even decent looking within your 4 years here, consider yourself lucky. Or that you just have low standards.
“I literally have not seen one cute guy in any of my classes”
“Welcome to Illinois State University

Illinois State University 

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A mediocre, Tier 3 Ranked University (U.S. News), that specializes in education. Originally founded as a "Normal" School, Illinois State (ISU) is a common choice for those not academically strong enough for prestigious University of Illinois or a better University. Illinois State is located within the towns of Bloomington and Normal Illinois. The area is a blue collar, depressed looking city which has an extremely high larceny risk (CLRSearch.com). Not only does the campus and surrounding neighborhood have a dim and melancholy feel, for the future of education within the state of Illinois is in great danger after massive budget cuts within the state legislature.
Hey John, I just received my acceptance letter from Illinois State University!

"Oh, what happened to UofI?"

"...yeeaaa, didn't get accepted..."

"sucks! you're going to be a poor poor man"
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