Grak 9

An inexpensive, yet highly effective, carbon dioxide powered semi-automatic weapon used for controlling the population of loud, shiny, black beasts known as Grackles. This weapon is only good for close shots, due to the fact that male Grackles, and occasionally female Grackles, wear Kevlar plated feathers. The Grak 9 can fire up to eight rounds of ammunition in as little as 1.6 seconds. Since the majority of Grackles sport Kevlar plated feathers, making the kill zone on these black imps a mere inch in diameter, more than one shot is typically needed to terminate one of these elephantine, frog eating devils.

I walked out the front door and saw three ugly chickens (the larger, male Grackles are often referred to as chickens) hanging out in the church yard. So I sneaked over, pulled out my Grak 9, and unloaded all eight rounds on the biggest one.

I don't go anywhere without my Grak 9; if a gaggle of Grackles were to appear and I had no protection.... well, you know what would happen!

Grak 9 by Population Control August 1, 2008