Fonzoid

Fonzoids are the male mainifestaion of the current retro fifties subculture. They are distiguished by 1950s era hair dos like pompadour and duck tails. Clothing is can range from the proletarian working class vibe(sleeveless t-shirts,peg leg jeans, leather motorcycle jackets and either engineer boots or old school canvas sneakers) to a more glam rockabilly styles similar to the British "Teddies".
Brian Seltzer of the Stay Cats is a good example of the latter. The drug of choice among Fonzoids is simple...Beer, beer and more beer. Most proletarian Fonzoids reject microbrews in favor of chaep brands like Budwiser,Pabst and Lucky Lager. This coupled with preferences to cigaerette brands like Lucky Strikes and Old Golds provide props to authnticate the simple,down to earth mileiu of fonzoid culture. You wont find much marijauna or psychedlic action with Fonzoid hijinks...no sir! If a fonzoid took Exctasy...it might result in him liking...Techno! Fonzoids like their intoxication a litte more down to earth and so when a fonzoid really feela like "cutting the rug", beer is usually augmented with more potent spirits like whisky. Fonzoid dwellings are usually decorated with artifacts from the era they so identify with. This can include retro furniture,toys and culural mamoribilia.Also, Fonzoids prefer automobles from the fifties and sixties.No self respecting fonzoid would'nt be caught dead in a Lexus.Some of the more intense fonzoids will ride a old school Harley.These are greatly admired and sought after by the famales of this subculture who are called "Bettys". Fonzoids reject the plasticity of modern post millenium culture and yearn for a simpler time where men were men and women were women,when a guy can go down the street to the malt shop without getting hassled by a junkie or a scientologist. A time when hard work paid off and geeks like Bill Gates didn't take over the world with that digital contraption of his. This template or "imago" is usually implanted
by childhood veiwings of "Leave it to Beaver", "Happy Days" and other television programs from or about the era. Another big influence on fonzoid culture is Music...old school rockabilly like Carl Perkins and Jerry Lee Lewis provide the sowndtrack for fonzoid life.Old school country are also embraced...Johnny Cash, Hank Willaims and Patsy Cline are fonzoid favorites. Contemporary bands like the Stray Cats,The Blasters and the current "roots" movement are also of appeal.

"jeez, look at that lead singer guy from Social Distotion..He's such a fonzoid!

Fonzoid by Mychosis October 24, 2004