Crystal Mom 

A person (not necessarily a maternal figure) with an uncomfortably extensive knowledge about holistic medicine and chakras. This person may or may not even believe in crystal healing or chakra alignment, but they know a TON about it. Holistic remedies include, but are not limited to, the following: Meditation practices, teas, herbs, tonics, essential oils, crystals, chakras, color healing, Feng Shui, Reiki healing, etc. They often share this knowledge randomly with friends and family.

Gerald: Jeez, Candace sure does know a lot of weird uses for essential oils and teas.
Mike: That's because Candace is such a Crystal Mom

Crystal Mom by Kelly_With_Art June 4, 2020

Crystal Mom 

A middle age women who hold esoteric spiritual beliefs like new age, yin yan, tai chi, acupuncture, auras, druid, Hinduism(but she is born in america or europe), crystal healing, holistic medicine, ghost, quantum mysticism, etc. She seems zen and calm, but she talks to non believer with contempt and try to sell you crystals and essential oils. She is probably a fan of Spirit Science on YouTube. She probably believe in qanon and illuminati too.

My aunt is always clam and zen, her house is full of crystal and incense and always bless me with positive energy. she is a bit cringe tho. She is a crystal mom.

Crystal Mom by coffecrispaddict August 21, 2023