an individual who is undeniably strange, socially awkward, extremely suspect, and naturally drawn to stalkerish behavior. Symptoms include: unhealthy amount of time spent on facebook and/or myspace, comb-overs, obsession with pickles and twizzlers, long times spent on the toilet reading Reader's Digest, and an individual who sleeps in a sleeping bag on a bed with no sheets or blankets, and a deck of Harry Potter playing cards.