Carpoose 

Something that sounds incredibly stupid when written down, more so than when it is said.

The school sent me a letter the other day telling me I was suspended. When they explained in writing what I did that was wrong, it sounded so ridiculous, it was a carpoose of stupidity.

Carpoose by K. Chem October 16, 2009

Carposexual 

Sexually attracted to carpets and other inanimate objects made of similar materials and/or baring strong resemblance to a carpet.

He is a carposexual

Carposexual by OPPAI-DONO July 10, 2019