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Capalert 

1. A really gay and misguided Christian "family" movie review site which rates movies based on their appropriatness usinge thir godly bible-based rating system. Very xenophobic and hateful, rudely judging both films and their creators. They have also made up a new rating: R-13! And let's not forget their infamous "Offense to God" rating category, where anything in the films relating to other religions (or any fantasy or folklore elements) are judged as sinful and inapproriate.
Jesus would not be amused by Capalert.
Capalert by Jules Carrozza June 20, 2003
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CapAlert 

A website run by a deranged minister (sometimes referred to as the CapA-Loser) who rates movies with a system he claims is "infallible" but often turns out the wrong score based on the fact that he doesn't really pay attention to the films he rates.
No one died in Lilo & Stitch, so the CapAlert score on the page for that movie cannot possibly be correct.
CapAlert by Nat Rator May 26, 2004

Capalert 

A good place to find a bunch of christian fundamentalist/right-wing retards for fun and profit. Rumour says they also do film reviews. (and funny ones!)
Capalert craap-alert!
Capalert by Zhou Fang August 17, 2003

capalert.com 

Homepage of the "ChildCare Action Project," an endeavor by a fairly extreme Christian ministry to let parents determine just which movies God doesn't want their children to watch. Has hundreds of detailed movie reviews, noting everything that goes against the Bible, no matter how slight, so that you know every single reason why it's probably a bad idea to let a five-year old watch Jason X. Not all movies reviewed are scored; the reviewer sometimes is too offended to watch the whole movie in extreme cases like 8MM, Jackass: The Movie (A name he even refuses to spell out), The Birdcage, and Matilda.

Cap alert 

Tyrique rell speeding bai hmmm cap alert yh
Cap alert by Esco Tha Great January 29, 2019