A gargantuum haemorrhoid of colossal proportions, protruding from the 'annus' like a shiny purple cucumber of the size which would have nuns doing press-ups in cucumber fields.
"Christ Nora, what the hell is that poking out of your arse?"
"It's me 'Farmer Giles' Edie, they're terrible bad at this time of year!"
"Shiver me timbers! I thought you were giving birth to a blimp - that thing makes a blue whale look like a Tic Tac!"
"Well, the doctor gave me some tablets, suppositories he called 'em, but for all the good they did I might as well have shoved them up my arse! Bloody bumcumbers!"
"It's me 'Farmer Giles' Edie, they're terrible bad at this time of year!"
"Shiver me timbers! I thought you were giving birth to a blimp - that thing makes a blue whale look like a Tic Tac!"
"Well, the doctor gave me some tablets, suppositories he called 'em, but for all the good they did I might as well have shoved them up my arse! Bloody bumcumbers!"
by Andrealphus June 27, 2010
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by MANUS465 May 21, 2009
Get the Bescumber mug.The sex toy version of the cucumber. The dildo of choice for those vegetable-loving ladies who during “man-drought” prefer to slake their libidinous thirst not with a banana, but rather with the cooler and considerably more dilatory cucumber.
She could hardly get to the vegetable compartment fast enough, such was the urge to pleasure herself. There it was - 8 inches of thickest greenest cumcumber. She returned to her bed. She peeled down its plastic wrap from the blunt tip and removed it. She lay back and hiked up her shirt. This was going to be one of those nights!
by Epigenie1 December 18, 2009
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It means in its exact definition (I take no credit for it): bescumber is just one of many words in the English language that basically mean “to spray with poo”. These are: BEDUNG, BERAY, IMMERD, SHARNY, and the good ol’ SHITTEN. In special cases, you can use BEMUTE (specifically means to drop poo on someone from great height), SHARD-BORN (born in dung), and FIMICOLOUS (living and growing on crap)
It means in its exact definition (I take no credit for it): bescumber is just one of many words in the English language that basically mean “to spray with poo”. These are: BEDUNG, BERAY, IMMERD, SHARNY, and the good ol’ SHITTEN. In special cases, you can use BEMUTE (specifically means to drop poo on someone from great height), SHARD-BORN (born in dung), and FIMICOLOUS (living and growing on crap)
by Valher November 3, 2009
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