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Blongford

Something that take's a lot longer than expected, to the point it starts to bore you, and you loose the will to live. The only thing that keeps you alive is the fact that the "Blongford" has something that you want and need.
Homie 1. Shit man this is is taking time!!
Homie 2. i no man, looks like we have another Blongford
by Mark Hunter-Uk March 31, 2008
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Going Blanford

the process by which one removes feces with a makeshift device from an appropriate receptacle and forces it into a receptacle not suited for human waste removal
I was grateful the public bathroom had a window, otherwise I was planning on Going Blanford.
by Sink_Violator January 7, 2010
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blondfold

The tricking of a gullible person. It's like blindfolding, except no blindfold is required because they are so gullible.
"How did she make him think a grapefruit was her mouth?"
"She blondfolded him by telling him it was her mouth and the dumb fuck didn't question it. She also blondfolded him when he caught her with a chick and she said they were practicing wrestling. He bought every bit of it without a second thought! He's so fucking gullible. He's easy to blondfold."
by rainbowdust919 December 29, 2014
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Blingford

A slang name used to generically describe the suburbs to the east of London, including Essex. The suffix "-ford" denotes that such towns tend to be situated on a river, often the Thames. Such suburbs including Ilford, Stratford, Romford, etc. can therefore be referred to generally without causing direct offense to their residents. The prefix "Bling" refers to the tendency of some of these residents to wear flashy, or gaudy jewellery, possibly implying that they are chavs.
Example 1:

Sociologist: As we can see from this picture, these two people are chavs, sitting in a McDonald's restaurant in Blingford. They are denoted by their tracksuits, gaudy jewellery and next tattoos.

Example 2:

"That's coz you's a tasteless, chavvy, Blingford mutherfucker, innit! Aight?"
by The Gonzo Lecture March 7, 2010
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blogfodder

A stupid non-news item that in the real world isn't that important but some blogger finds it and soon everyone is talking (and blogging) about it.
They misspelled "California" on my high school diploma. I fixed them and made blogfodder out of it. Now the whole web is talking about how stupid that printing company is.
by DrKoob January 20, 2009
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Blandford

Man: Watch out, you just stepped on my vagina!
Man 2: Fuck off, you're such a blandford!!
by ChrisBlandford April 24, 2011
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longford

An absolute shitehole of a place located somewhere between the villages of Arse-End and Of-Nowhere on Irelands lush central plain. The poorer cousin of its sister towns of Athlone and Mullingar, Longford is stuck in a time warp somewhere between the dark ages and 1989.

Activities on offer in Longford include:
-Living in a council house,
-Being a dole-scrounger,
-Having five kids when you're only sixteen,
-Wearing tracksuits if you're male and hoop earrings if you're female,
-Using the words "bure" and "sham" ad-nauseum,
-Being from Longford.

Places of interest in the town are:
-The dole office,
-erm...........the dole office....?

Characters of interest in the town include:
-Writer Oliver Goldsmith who lived near the town for a period some years ago,
-The entire staff of the dole office,
-That bure from Teffia Park who gave her sister a hidin' cos she caught her shiftin' this other one behind PVs last Saturday night and no one in her family's gonna be a fuckin' dyke.

If you would like to visit Longford, then I can only urge you to seek urgent psychiatric assessment.
Pavee 1: Sell many gates in Longford today?
Pavee 2: Ya must be fuckin' jokin'. I wouldn't go near that fuckin' shithole. Sure they'd fuckin' fleece the gates and kneecap ya in that kip.
Pavee 1: But...we live in Longford.
Pavee 2: Oh yeah....let's go and kneecap someone for the craic.
Pavee 1: Nah, I'm due down the dole office. Cunts are threatenin' to cut me benefits.
Pavee 2: Shower o' crawlin' bastards. Let's kneecap them.
Pavee 1: Fair enough.
by DavidGallagher2007 June 8, 2007
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