Bedlows

Bedlows (noun)
1. Empty promises or false comforts that seem inviting but offer no true solace or fulfillment.
2. Words or gestures that mask underlying despair or hopelessness; superficial consolations.
Derived from a poetic fusion of "bed" (a place of rest or complacency) and "low" (a state of depression or depth).

She tried to comfort him with sweet bedlows, but he saw through the hollow sentiments.

Bedlows by Kristoff Blackthorne August 30, 2023

chimney butt bellows 

When you're fucking a fat chick doggy style and her butt cheeks flap together like a chimey bellows, wafting butthole stank up towards your nose

She was cute for a fatty, but we had to break up on account of her chimney butt bellows

chimney butt bellows by Birdfeeder M.D. January 1, 2012

Fart Bellows 

Fart Bellows is the opposite of a Dutch Oven. Instead of trapping a person under bed covers after releasing noxious gas fumes from one's ass, the flatulist begins pumping and fanning (expanding and contracting) the bedding covers which expels the gas fumes out from underneath the blankets and sheets into the open air in the bedroom. Person's lying in the bed and anyone entering the bedroom after the fact all fall victim to the fart bellows.

After using the "Fart Bellows" method while lying in bed, Billy caused his girlfriend Gertrude to puke all over the night stand and wall.

Fart Bellows by E. Barlow November 19, 2014

Ryan Bellows 

Waking up, looking in the mirror, and remembering you are you.

I wish I was a unicorn with a diamond horn riding a jet fighter but I'm just Ryan Bellows.

Ryan Bellows by Skato August 3, 2012

The Bellows 

Yet another act designed to share noxious butt gas (flatulence) with one's significant other (SO). It is comprised of multiple steps.

1) While your SO is in bed with you, tightly hold the covers close to you to create a good seal that will prevent noxious gases from coming out near you.

2) Let one go. Silent but deadly is better as everyone loves surprises.

3) Slowly use your foot to raise the covers at the far end of the bed.

4) Let your foot drop. If done properly, "The Bellows" should give your SO a nice blast of your most recent work while leaving you protected and laughing.

NOTE: Punches in the arm as well as the well earned title of "you asshole" are a likely result

This was inspired by the Dutch Oven

I gave my wife The Bellows last night. That's how her eyebrows got singed.

The Bellows by Prof. Ass Master May 13, 2011

Bulgarian Bellows 

When a woman stretches her labia over her partner's mouth, creating an airtight seal. The partner then must forcefully blow air into her vagina, creating positive pressure. Finally, the woman queefs to release said pressure back out into her partner's mouth.

I heard doing Bulgarian Bellows is great for your sinuses.

Bulgarian Bellows by Indy the Great January 23, 2019

Coitus Bellows 

Usually used were you have a older teacher that has a dan sedin/gordon freeman goatee and doesn't know how to use newer technology/gadgets.

Alex : My woodshop teacher sure is a coitus bellows, he looks like daniel sedin.
Gordon : Yah i seen him earlier, he couldn't even turn on his windows 98 computer!
Alex : LOL!

Coitus Bellows by TheJizzards June 28, 2011