Eulian Satanism is a branch of theistic Satanism created by a man going by the name of Chosen Nightmares. It branched off from LaVeyan Satanism around July of 2018. It is pronounced "you-lee-in".
"Do you want to come to church with me?"
"No thanks, I'm a Eulian Satanist."
"What on Earth does that mean? Do you sacrifice goats and children or something?"
"Absolutely not! Eulian Satanism is basically reverse Christianity."
"No thanks, I'm a Eulian Satanist."
"What on Earth does that mean? Do you sacrifice goats and children or something?"
"Absolutely not! Eulian Satanism is basically reverse Christianity."
by eulian-guild November 1, 2019
Get the Eulian Satanism mug.The religion of routing for gloomy disgusting wet weather; this religion is mostly confined to idiots with nothing better to do but wallow in misery with other Satanists; personal hygiene is not a pre-requisite for Satanists; most don’t believe in showers or any kind of fragrance and welcome members smelling like the stench of death.
Oh you like this gloomy Eeyore miserable weather? Tell me how is it practicing the religion of Satanism?
Hey you smell like a sewer! Welcome aboard!
Hey you smell like a sewer! Welcome aboard!
by HYFDZ October 23, 2019
Get the Satanism mug.Satanic panic is a phenomenon where angry old Christian conservatives (also see noncervatives) start clutching their pearls about anything totally harmless bring "evil" or spewing complete nonsense about how the devil is trying to "brainwash" people. Recently started facing a very noticeable resurgence around the time the 2024 Paris Olympics started, where drag queens performed in the opening ceremony (which due to being filmed for a live audience, was totally family friendly).
Naturally, these pissed off old people with no life have taken to standing around all day in the streets throughout many states, holding up signs telling people to more or less convert to Christianity or Catholicism. These 'protests' aren't always peaceful though, as a few instances reported these same people with signs crying Satanic panic, have resorted to attempting to more or less kidnap unattended children or outright trying to grab them from their parents, hinting at these conservatives' more naturally predatory instincts.
If you encounter an instance of Satanic panic, hide your kids and hide your wives/husbands/partners, but most importantly, remember to yell the word Nonce as loud as you can. That way, their Satanic panic will be cured in no time. Worst case scenario, call the authorities, kidnapping is against the law.
If you or someone you know is showing signs or has a history of Satanic panic, seek help today.
Naturally, these pissed off old people with no life have taken to standing around all day in the streets throughout many states, holding up signs telling people to more or less convert to Christianity or Catholicism. These 'protests' aren't always peaceful though, as a few instances reported these same people with signs crying Satanic panic, have resorted to attempting to more or less kidnap unattended children or outright trying to grab them from their parents, hinting at these conservatives' more naturally predatory instincts.
If you encounter an instance of Satanic panic, hide your kids and hide your wives/husbands/partners, but most importantly, remember to yell the word Nonce as loud as you can. That way, their Satanic panic will be cured in no time. Worst case scenario, call the authorities, kidnapping is against the law.
If you or someone you know is showing signs or has a history of Satanic panic, seek help today.
Susan: I heard Benjamin ended up on the register last week
Helen: Benjamin?? What did he do?
Susan: The Satanic panic got to him, I heard they found 3 girls dressed in white and tied up in his basement!
Helen: This is getting out of control, I hope he's getting the help he clearly needs
Helen: Benjamin?? What did he do?
Susan: The Satanic panic got to him, I heard they found 3 girls dressed in white and tied up in his basement!
Helen: This is getting out of control, I hope he's getting the help he clearly needs
by StopTheConsies August 2, 2024
Get the Satanic Panic mug.a tendency by western atheists to foolishly think their deserving of worship, resulting in them indulging in depravity and ruining their lives, theistic satanism is even worse, to believe that the god who created you in his image is bad and to support the literal embodiment of evil who wants to kill you
"i believe in satanism"
by Evono October 8, 2025
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The primordial omnipresent conscious darkness, throughout nature, as well as the universe, which speaks and the 'supreme' prince of evil.
Satan harms innocent people for his entertainment/selfish desires, as well as has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and brainwashes others to be the same.
(Notes: Satan tries to cover up for his disorder, including by confusing others that neurotypical people have it.
He has demons who work for him to spread his disorder around the universe.
No god was powerful enough to destroy Satan, but one day a being shall come to do so as the prophecy fortold).
Satan harms innocent people for his entertainment/selfish desires, as well as has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and brainwashes others to be the same.
(Notes: Satan tries to cover up for his disorder, including by confusing others that neurotypical people have it.
He has demons who work for him to spread his disorder around the universe.
No god was powerful enough to destroy Satan, but one day a being shall come to do so as the prophecy fortold).
'Satan isn't necessarily a red human with horns, but the omnipresent evil conscious darkness, throughout nature and the universe, which speaks.'
(Please read my definition of evil & demon for more information).
(Please read my definition of evil & demon for more information).
by DianaLuciusDeCollis August 13, 2022
Get the Satan mug.Cocaine, Devil's Dandruff, blow, snow, white girl Interrupted, Pablo's powder room. Chasing the white rabbit
James: yo that stoned guy we met before just shouted "Tactical nuke! INCOMING!" And dive bombed a swimming pool and broke his ribs.
Mike: woah! I guess snorting grams of satan's foot shavings before might have taken the edge off
Mike: woah! I guess snorting grams of satan's foot shavings before might have taken the edge off
by DarkI3INARY November 4, 2024
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