A person who acts like a Jew by coveting money, liquor, and/or drugs. There's at least one in every group of friends.
The covetous jew that is more than happy to drink a few rounds on your ass, but would never offer to buy a round for anyone and tips like a Jew.
by Niggasaurus Rex October 23, 2007

by BlueSkies420 September 28, 2011

by Bumkicker Slade April 30, 2005

Someone who does NOT have unlimited texting and atteps to get the entire message into one tiny text or uses someone's, other than their own, to text freely.
Bob: *Looks at phone... 3 texts left*
Bob: HEY! sally! hand me your phone so i can text joe.
Sally: Uh... sure but i only have a couple of texts left.
Bob: Don't worry, i already went over my limit.
Sally: ... you're such a text jew.
Bob: HEY! sally! hand me your phone so i can text joe.
Sally: Uh... sure but i only have a couple of texts left.
Bob: Don't worry, i already went over my limit.
Sally: ... you're such a text jew.
by omgara May 14, 2010

v. What occurs when two Jewish individuals meet on Jdate or similar dating website and decide to move in together after an inordinately short period of dating, much in the fashion of lesbians (see also to U-Haul).
by B. Porter January 29, 2009

at ones bah mitzva a young (uncircumsized) man finds several horny judaen girls to have orgasms and this would be a jew-bilation!
by bilboe bagginz April 20, 2010

The ideal parking space that a person may find, or a typical jewish person would drive around in circles to attain. Usually within several spots of the handicap spaces.
by rossilicious July 3, 2009
