turtle blaster

The act of an individual stuffing green and black jellybeans up their arse, followed by squatting down and pushing them out. The action resembles Turtles being blasted out of their bum.

-“Yo bro, I saw Alex the other day doing a Turtle Blaster..“
-“No way, with the green and black jellybeans?”
-“Yea”

by JellyBeanBlasterAlex April 14, 2020

Wang turtle

A penis that has an abnormally tough outer skin. Also known as a chode.

"O. yeah let get in there...."said the man "Ow did you put it in yet..." says the girl "yeah it feels so good doesn't it!" "Um... maybe on your end i'm not feeling anything on this end..."

later that night...

"Yeah i was with this guy Nick Motta earlier he has such a wang turtle..."

by Motta101 August 15, 2011

The Turtle's Kiss

When a man manufactures a dump so perfect that as it glides over his prostate it causes mild to moderate sexual release.

Bill: "Hey Steve. I did a huge dump this morning which was so perfect that I almost had a orgasm"
Steve: "ah, I see you have experienced the majesty of The Turtle's Kiss"

by Souper Rare April 28, 2022

feared the turtle

Fear the Turtle is what a woman experiences when she realizes halfway through vaginal intercourse that her bowels are full and her enjoyment of the sex has been superseded by her fear of crapping the bed.

Sue had to ask Drew to stop fucking her because she feared the turtle. She got on the can for a minute, then hopped back in bed, and no longer feared the turtle.

by Wangus Maximuz April 23, 2011

Soapy Turtle

The first bowel movement taken after being the recipient of anal sex that resulted in anal climax

I went though half a roll of toilet paper after that soapy turtle.

by PyMann September 30, 2020

Turtle-bite

When a man is peeing and he pinches his balls in his belt buckle but cannot remove them straight away because if he does he will end up missin the bowl and pissin everywhere. He just has to endure the pain until his piss is over.

I just got a heavy turtle-bite over behind those bushes. Ow, fuck!

by Crackpotslingshot May 14, 2019

Nested Turtle

1. When the head of the pecker protrudes into the shaft creating a image like a turtles head hiding in its shell.

“As the winter began in pecker town, all the men started to feel a strange sensation. Owen asked why his weiner appeared to look like a turtle hiding in his shell. Vagman, (the man with the 12 inch shlong) Shouted, Hahahaha you have a nice nested turtle going.”

by CammyAlva June 25, 2018