London Baby Lottery

When you have sex with over 1000 men in a fancy mansion in London, UK in twelve hours time to set a world record, later find out you're pregnant, and then 9 months later everyone goes in for DNA tests to see who the father of the child is.

I was in a group of chaps who took part in this Guinness Book of World Records thing and the posh tosser in front of me ended up winning the London Baby Lottery.

by recklessconduct February 19, 2025

London Creative

Self-titled creatives that roam the streets of London, fueled by overpriced iced oat milk lattes and a vague sense of purpose. Often seen waving their hands and using words like ‘visceral’ and ‘transcendent’ in front of artwork and chainsmoking outside an underground artist’s show (don’t bother asking, you probablly wouldn’t know them).

‘So then he told me he has an invisible exhibition. It’s got no venue, no artwork… just a vibe?’

‘Oh my god, I’m so sick of these LONDON CREATIVES’

by wehatefuckboys February 23, 2025

London Bridge

A London Bridge can only exist with 4 people; 2 sets of tits (specifically nipple to nipple, nipple to nipple), and the two bridge crossers create the bridges by lining up the sets of tits and having the crossers do two each on opposite sides. The closeness this bridge creates is palpable and full of enjoyment!

Me and my girl, Macey are ready, let’s take our tops off and start the party with a London Bridge!

by Greenlowtops March 22, 2025

London

The air turns your lungs into popcorn

Doctor: Sir, have you been smoking.
Guy: No? Why?
Doctor: Your lungs have turned to dust.
Guy: Oh yeah that!
Doctor: You knew?
Guy: Yeah I live in London.
Doctor: Also you have several stab wounds.
Guy: Yeah I live in London.

by The Funny Skibidi Froog Man June 22, 2024

London Special

To give an individual a stabbin', like in the backstreets (and front streets) of London

He received the London Special last night

by ItsSheepish June 25, 2024

John Sadly is still the only guy in London

There is only one guy in London his name is John

John Sadly is still the only guy in London

by potvaliant cloud June 25, 2024

The London limp

An easy way to spot tourists in London who have done a little bit too much sight seeing and window shopping. Instantly recognisable, in places such as tube stations where they hold up commuters by slowly hobbling down stairs or come to a dead stop, due to an obvious limp caused by blisters and inappropriate footwear.

Goodness, I almost would've mistaken that tourist for a local, but he's got the London limp.

by Limp4London July 25, 2024