When a person writes or types words, phrases, sentences, articles, and the like for the sole purpose of self adulation. While similar to sexting, texual masturbation is primarily for the gratification of the person writing said text, as oppose to the one receiving or reading the text.
by Lain of the Wired December 24, 2014
by Thurston June 19, 2003
This is usually announced or thought of after seeing a girl who is distractingly attractive. The act of explaining you like the looks of a girl enough to masturbate too.
See, she's hot dude I'm going to ask her out.
Yea I'm masturbating in my head to her.
I fucking hate you.
I'm still masturbating in my head to her. Still not done, not done, Alright I'm done. I'm going to go make a sandwich. Good Mental Masturbation. Actually, you want to go to Chipotle?
Not with you.
Thats douchey.
Yea I'm masturbating in my head to her.
I fucking hate you.
I'm still masturbating in my head to her. Still not done, not done, Alright I'm done. I'm going to go make a sandwich. Good Mental Masturbation. Actually, you want to go to Chipotle?
Not with you.
Thats douchey.
by gordon getty November 14, 2011
Someone who is so self-righteous about their musical ability and talent that they feel the need to demonstrate their greatness in a pompus way to those listening, even if they are unwilling.
by The Kerch April 27, 2008
To Masturbate in a very patriotic way. Often will be done while listening to the national anthem, while watching the president give a speech, Or while cloaked in an American Flag
Guy 1: Dude last night i did some constitutional masturbation.
Guy 2: Theres nothing more patriotic than that, you know what ill be right back i need to go masturbate whilte listening to the national anthem
Guy 2: Theres nothing more patriotic than that, you know what ill be right back i need to go masturbate whilte listening to the national anthem
by Gentalmansmiley June 20, 2011
what does bridge and masturbation have in common ???
answer:
if you don't have a good hand, you better have a good partner !!!
answer:
if you don't have a good hand, you better have a good partner !!!
by itchie_nocanpo June 30, 2006
Utter discontent because all you can smell is stale pee and ass smell. It really sucks in public rest rooms.
"Man, after taking a vicious dump, I decided not to masturbate because all I could smell was ass. masturbating on the shitter sucks
by WoodstockCobalt December 27, 2006