Rob Zombie Flavor Index

Used to measure the calorie account of someone’s dick.

Yeah man, my dick has 1/4 the calories of a mature female raccoon! I found it out using the Rob Zombie Flavor Index!

by Robin Zomborg December 11, 2021

Waffle house index

A scale created by FEMA used to determine how bad a situation is.

Green: Normal day, serves regular menu

Yellow: Using the generator/limited food supply, serves the limited menu

Red: YOUR ONLY CHANCE IS TO FUCKING PRAY (Things are bad, Waffle House is closed)

"Hey man things are really getting bad out there"

"Is it really? The waffle house index will determine that"

by free cheese June 1, 2023

Ambient Weed Index

Ambient Weed Index (AWI) is a scaled value between 0 and 10 associated with the level of marijuana smoke detected by the observer. A zero AWI would indicate no marijuana smoke and a 10 AWI would be reported from inside a small space such as the dressing room at a concert or inside of a parked car. It should be reported along with location and wind direction.

Yo, on my way to Shazam’s party the other night the Ambient Weed Index (AWI) was spikin’ toward 10. And I was still a block away!! I hope somebody warned the neighbors downwind.

Spiff Spiffler here with KLAM weather out of Shreveport. There are reports of a large cloud with an AWI (Ambient Weed Index) of 7.5 moving south/southwest from the fairgrounds toward Monroe Township. If you’re in that area, best to stay inside until the Kanye concert is over. Or maybe hang around outside. You’re call.

by Beachinwesty December 23, 2023

McKinley-Sugar Index

A method for decision making in parties of 2 or more that maximizes the enjoyment for the collective party.

The McKinley-Sugar Index utilizes a simple -10 to 10 scale that each party member is asked to assign a value between -10 to 10 to. For each individual, an answer of -10 indicates maximum negation and an answer of +10 indicates maximum affirmation. The resulting sum of all responses is used to decide on the topic at hand.

Jason: How does everyone feel on the McKinley-Sugar Index about pizza tonight?

Sam: I'm a 3

John: I'm a 7
Laura: I'm a -5

Jason: Great, I'm a -1 on pizza, so our sum is 4. Looks like we're getting pizza tonight!

by luiswu January 15, 2024

The Bro-Hater Index

The more you and a friend hate on each other is directly proportional to how close the two individuals are

Paul and I take potshots at each other on the daily but there isn’t anything that we wouldn’t do for each other. That places our relationship super high on the bro-hater index

by Chewbaccabuddy December 30, 2024

Theory of Constructed Industrial Revolution

The argument that the narrative of the "Industrial Revolution" as a sudden, inevitable, and monolithic turning point is itself a historical construction. It lumps together disparate, localized technological changes (in textiles, steam, iron) into a single, epic story of "Progress" to serve national myths and ideological narratives (like the triumph of capitalism). This construction obscures the alternatives, the brutal costs, and the fact that it wasn't a "revolution" to those living through its decades of messy, uneven change.

*Example: "Textbooks present the Industrial Revolution as a neat before-and-after: farms to factories. The Theory of Constructed Industrial Revolution says that story was built later by historians and boosters to explain the rise of British power. For a spinner in Manchester in 1790, it wasn't a 'revolution'; it was a confusing, brutal shift in daily grind. The sweeping narrative constructs a destiny from what was, in the moment, a chaotic, contested, and far from inevitable mess."*

by Abzu Land January 31, 2026

Proletariat Freedom Index

A proposed alternative metric to indices like the "Economic Freedom Index" (which equates freedom with deregulation). This index would measure the substantive freedom of the working class based on factors like: job security, union density, access to healthcare and housing, free time (leisure vs. work hours), workplace democracy, and power over community decisions. It redefines freedom from "freedom from the state" to "freedom from exploitation and insecurity."

Example: According to the Proletariat Freedom Index, a Scandinavian country with strong unions, a generous social safety net, and codetermination laws would rank highly, while a US state with "right-to-work" laws, no paid leave, and rampant gig economy precarity would rank near the bottom, despite scoring high on a traditional "economic freedom" index.

by Dumu The Void February 5, 2026