Wiped my shoes on her welcome mat

When going down on a girl you vomit in your mouth and either swallow it back or spray it on her cooter.

Dude, I was going down on this chick pastor and totally wiped my shoes on her welcome mat.

by max meat July 20, 2010

Don't wipe your ass before you shit

1.An expression you use to tell a person to stop bragging who claims victory before a brawl,race,match,competiion or any other event that has yet to happen.

A)
Kevin: let's see who has the speed to make it to the finish line quicker.

Eric: Man I got this,I'm gonna murk your ass!!

Kevin: Don't wipe your ass before you shit Eric ;it's not over till is over.

B)
Eric:10 bucks I get a better grade in my physics test?

BeHa: Man you always say that but you always fail,don't wipe your ass before shit!!!!

Jack: Yo Eric you ain't beating noone shut upp!!!

Mick: Yea don't wipe your ass before shit!!!

by BeHa February 20, 2011

i just mı ̨ade you wipe your screen

A bad internet joke that sometimes fools people.

I just mı ̨ade you wipe your screen

by Twenty One Discoball Romances June 11, 2017

cock gobbler in the shitter nigger fart dick fucking ass wipe fucktard autistic fucker

a dick head guy who just fuckes shit up even when he try to be good

harry you cant do anything right, your such a cock gobbler in the shitter nigger fart dick fucking ass wipe fucktard autistic fucker

by greg.gatzz May 30, 2017

Wipe to Confirm

The act of wiping your butt a last time to confirm that your hole is clean and completely rid of crap. Used to reaffirm the suspicion that you've finished wiping when your previous fold of toilet paper is stainless.

Derived from the phrase, "Swipe to Confirm"

John: Man, my ass is itchy...
Dale: You sure you wiped properly, bro?
John: Nah I was in a rush man, didn't have time to check
Dale: Dayum! That's nasty! I always check properly before I leave... Wipe to Confirm, Wipe to Confirm, man

by John Dale August 15, 2012

Oily wipe

A wipe used to oil up your bitch in bed.

Him: "Let me whip out the "oily wipe"."
Her: "Hurry up, what are you waiting for?"

by KamilotV2 June 19, 2024

ever wipe

When you are trying to wipe up after a messy poop, but finding on each successive wipe the remnants of poop never go away, leading to an ever wipe.

Man I had an ever wipe this morning, I know its gonna be a bad day

by HK_MP5 June 7, 2018