Wiped my shoes on her welcome mat

When going down on a girl you vomit in your mouth and either swallow it back or spray it on her cooter.

Dude, I was going down on this chick pastor and totally wiped my shoes on her welcome mat.

by max meat July 20, 2010

Don't wipe your ass before you shit

1.An expression you use to tell a person to stop bragging who claims victory before a brawl,race,match,competiion or any other event that has yet to happen.

A)
Kevin: let's see who has the speed to make it to the finish line quicker.

Eric: Man I got this,I'm gonna murk your ass!!

Kevin: Don't wipe your ass before you shit Eric ;it's not over till is over.

B)
Eric:10 bucks I get a better grade in my physics test?

BeHa: Man you always say that but you always fail,don't wipe your ass before shit!!!!

Jack: Yo Eric you ain't beating noone shut upp!!!

Mick: Yea don't wipe your ass before shit!!!

by BeHa February 20, 2011

i just mı ̨ade you wipe your screen

A bad internet joke that sometimes fools people.

I just mı ̨ade you wipe your screen

by Twenty One Discoball Romances June 11, 2017

cock gobbler in the shitter nigger fart dick fucking ass wipe fucktard autistic fucker

a dick head guy who just fuckes shit up even when he try to be good

harry you cant do anything right, your such a cock gobbler in the shitter nigger fart dick fucking ass wipe fucktard autistic fucker

by greg.gatzz May 30, 2017

Speed wipe

Another Name For Toilet Paper

Guy 1: (Gets to end of roll) We need some more speed wipe

by john_doe 123456 July 9, 2009

Ass wipe

If anyone called you asswipe it is probably mesntbin an offensive way, but if you really think about it when your taking a fat shit and you wipe your ass it just feelings so good and you live it, so basically what they are trying to tell you is that they love you.

Your such an "ASS WIPE"... Ughhh I hate you.

by Izzydoodle June 27, 2021

wipe your lip

Used when referring to someone who is forever talking shit I.e. Referring to their need to use some toilet tissue to remove the bullshit which is forming around the edges of their mouth.

"I was partying with that hot blonde again last night."

"you talk such bullshit you need to wipe your lip."

by nuclearbigwill August 19, 2016