Wiped my shoes on her welcome mat

When going down on a girl you vomit in your mouth and either swallow it back or spray it on her cooter.

Dude, I was going down on this chick pastor and totally wiped my shoes on her welcome mat.

by max meat July 20, 2010

Don't wipe your ass before you shit

1.An expression you use to tell a person to stop bragging who claims victory before a brawl,race,match,competiion or any other event that has yet to happen.

A)
Kevin: let's see who has the speed to make it to the finish line quicker.

Eric: Man I got this,I'm gonna murk your ass!!

Kevin: Don't wipe your ass before you shit Eric ;it's not over till is over.

B)
Eric:10 bucks I get a better grade in my physics test?

BeHa: Man you always say that but you always fail,don't wipe your ass before shit!!!!

Jack: Yo Eric you ain't beating noone shut upp!!!

Mick: Yea don't wipe your ass before shit!!!

by BeHa February 20, 2011

i just mı ̨ade you wipe your screen

A bad internet joke that sometimes fools people.

I just mı ̨ade you wipe your screen

by Twenty One Discoball Romances June 11, 2017

cock gobbler in the shitter nigger fart dick fucking ass wipe fucktard autistic fucker

a dick head guy who just fuckes shit up even when he try to be good

harry you cant do anything right, your such a cock gobbler in the shitter nigger fart dick fucking ass wipe fucktard autistic fucker

by greg.gatzz May 30, 2017

Wipe Shame

The embarrassment that stems from the sound of wiping one's ass in a public toilet.

I had instant wipe shame knowing three other guys were in the bathroom and heard me both pulling and using the paper to wipe my ass.

by Notepadow December 23, 2016

Courtesy Wipe

When you have a fart that is so nasty that you have to go to the bathroom and wipe your ass because it feels like more than just air came out.

(Person1 shits his pants)
Person2: Ew that was fucking nasty dude.

Person1: Sorry, I think I need to take a courtesy wipe. I’ll be back.
(Person1 sprints to the bathroom)

by YaBoiCharles January 17, 2019

the wipe

Continuously wiping your anal cavity after dropping a particularly juicy load of fecal matter. Usually after passing flatulence, you feel a wet sensation, and once you wipe once more, it's like you never wiped in the first place. Also known as "swamp ass."

"My ass hole is leaking, I must have the wipe!"

by silverbackjp November 6, 2013