Wiped my shoes on her welcome mat

When going down on a girl you vomit in your mouth and either swallow it back or spray it on her cooter.

Dude, I was going down on this chick pastor and totally wiped my shoes on her welcome mat.

by max meat July 20, 2010

Don't wipe your ass before you shit

1.An expression you use to tell a person to stop bragging who claims victory before a brawl,race,match,competiion or any other event that has yet to happen.

A)
Kevin: let's see who has the speed to make it to the finish line quicker.

Eric: Man I got this,I'm gonna murk your ass!!

Kevin: Don't wipe your ass before you shit Eric ;it's not over till is over.

B)
Eric:10 bucks I get a better grade in my physics test?

BeHa: Man you always say that but you always fail,don't wipe your ass before shit!!!!

Jack: Yo Eric you ain't beating noone shut upp!!!

Mick: Yea don't wipe your ass before shit!!!

by BeHa February 20, 2011

i just mı ̨ade you wipe your screen

A bad internet joke that sometimes fools people.

I just mı ̨ade you wipe your screen

by Twenty One Discoball Romances June 11, 2017

cock gobbler in the shitter nigger fart dick fucking ass wipe fucktard autistic fucker

a dick head guy who just fuckes shit up even when he try to be good

harry you cant do anything right, your such a cock gobbler in the shitter nigger fart dick fucking ass wipe fucktard autistic fucker

by greg.gatzz May 30, 2017

Wipe lie

When after the first wipe, the toilet paper is clean but you wipe for a second time and realise it was just an illusion. It then takes half the roll to get clean.

I had a very satisfied smile after a clean first wipe but the next revealed I had been fooled, a wipe lie!

by HizerKite November 22, 2023

Wipes

To single-handedly beat out the competition, usually in a definitive fashion. Somewhat interchangeable with "clears" and "solos."

The Dark Knight absolutely wipes The Batman.

by guesswho¿? September 26, 2022

Mr Wipes

Mr wipes is the guy that goes around the elderly home and well wipes the elderly. It may not be a very classy job but Mr Wipes finds this very satisfying.

Here comes Mr Wipes to the elderly home to do his job.

by Krazez June 6, 2018