Wiped my shoes on her welcome mat

When going down on a girl you vomit in your mouth and either swallow it back or spray it on her cooter.

Dude, I was going down on this chick pastor and totally wiped my shoes on her welcome mat.

by max meat July 20, 2010

Don't wipe your ass before you shit

1.An expression you use to tell a person to stop bragging who claims victory before a brawl,race,match,competiion or any other event that has yet to happen.

A)
Kevin: let's see who has the speed to make it to the finish line quicker.

Eric: Man I got this,I'm gonna murk your ass!!

Kevin: Don't wipe your ass before you shit Eric ;it's not over till is over.

B)
Eric:10 bucks I get a better grade in my physics test?

BeHa: Man you always say that but you always fail,don't wipe your ass before shit!!!!

Jack: Yo Eric you ain't beating noone shut upp!!!

Mick: Yea don't wipe your ass before shit!!!

by BeHa February 20, 2011

i just mı ̨ade you wipe your screen

A bad internet joke that sometimes fools people.

I just mı ̨ade you wipe your screen

by Twenty One Discoball Romances June 11, 2017

cock gobbler in the shitter nigger fart dick fucking ass wipe fucktard autistic fucker

a dick head guy who just fuckes shit up even when he try to be good

harry you cant do anything right, your such a cock gobbler in the shitter nigger fart dick fucking ass wipe fucktard autistic fucker

by greg.gatzz May 30, 2017

Mind wipe

A phrase that you say to your friends before telling them something so unhinged that you would like them to pretend it was never said

Person 1: "Honestly, guys, mind wipe?"
Person 2 & 3 (in unison): "Of course!"
Person 1: "I recently pretended to be disabled so that I could get out of a sexual assault charge."

by Norman Pretzels July 9, 2025

Mr Wipes

Mr wipes is the guy that goes around the elderly home and well wipes the elderly. It may not be a very classy job but Mr Wipes finds this very satisfying.

Here comes Mr Wipes to the elderly home to do his job.

by Krazez June 6, 2018

ass wipe

someone who is an actual asshole. who knows, maybe it’s you. asswipe.

god damn Brenda you are such an ass wipe.

by joe Biden’s asshole March 8, 2021