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Jared (homeless guy)

Jared! The homeless guy down the street! He got kicked out by his parents for no apparent reason?… Anyway he’s now working for Walter where he keeps accidentally breaking the sink, he’s trying to save up for college but let’s be honest he’s 23 and never gonna get in college. (He also looks kind gay)
El caca: Look, it’s a homeless guy!
Walter: No that’s just Jared (homeless guy).
El caca: Oh, Look! It’s Jared !
Walter: Yeah Jared, that homosexual.
by ELCACAISAPIECEOFSHIT October 29, 2022
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JARED

Jared is gay
by Neudjebfjs October 17, 2019
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Jared

A fat Costa Rican bastard who got a shitty ass haircut and hates a lovely boy named Bryan. Nigga Jared thinks he’s rich ($14 an hour makes fat niggas go crazy) he lies about everything except that he has so many hoes. Nigga thinks he’s a thug cause he live in a shitty ass apartment. The biggest city boy s(as in fat asf but he still a city boy) got pepperoni nipples, SpongeBob acne and is a big fan of chaka culture and claims the chaka set. And he is thankful for god given opportunity’s Jared is a good homie and faithful vato and
Margret: Jared is fine ask
Hannah: I’d let him nut inside of me
Margret:…
The hoes: I’d like Jared to fill my holes
by Chester2fine March 10, 2023
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Jared on the Chaired

Jared on the Chaired is a magical elf who only sits on chairs & is much more critical on reports to santa than typical elves. Jared also explodes on christmas and shows back up again the next year.
Be good! Jared on the Chaired is watching!
by notoeduw December 21, 2024
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I wish I was Jared, 19

This phrase can be seen in the comment section of outrageous or otherwise shocking posts to express disturbance, confusion, or surprise. It refers to the popular vine “My name is Jared, I’m 19, and I never learned how to fucking read”
*A tweet vividly describing someones sexual fantasy involving feet, motor oil, 13 male strippers, toothpaste, used toilet paper, and a bidet*

Comment section:
“Man, I wish I was Jared, 19”
by Seen_too_much June 7, 2024
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Jared

A drunken simp with a tiny dick who doesnt take no for an answer. he gets no bitches, but he has nice hair. the kinda dude who will send you some lil peep at 3 am cuz hes simping over the fact that you dont want him
ohoh Jared is fucked up and about to ruin everyone's night again
by anonymous April 3, 2022
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Jared

Manipulative, Asshole, probably a dude that would try to finger a bitch on a first date.
Probably someone who would guilt trip you into staying them by forcefully bringing you gifts you never asked for.
“Bro did you hear Jared got cheated on?

Man that sucks, he was pussy whipped anyway.”
by pineappleexpress333 October 8, 2022
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