Jared

A short male that stinks of b.o (body Oder) and has a nasty hair cut and can’t pull bothers so he preys on little girl

Jared: Bro I can suck my own dick

Person 2: wtf ur weird

by Donkeydickjr December 27, 2021

Jared

A guy who pees on something to make art.

“Is that Jared? What did he draw this time?”

by Cheeeztordee December 29, 2021

Mayonnaise jaring

The act of nutting in one’s butt then shoving a butt plug in the hole.

Person: Hey did you know George is well known for mayonnaise jaring?

Other Person: Really! I better go ask if he’s taking appointments!

by chumpaIumpa March 21, 2022

Pulling a Jared

When you take too much of a substance you do or don't know the content of and start straight salmon-ing on the floor

Person #1: Yo man I haven't seen Tiffany at school in like 3 days, have you heard from her?
Person #2: Idk man but I heard rumors that she ended up pulling a jared.

by LevMehArone January 25, 2022

Jared

A gamer boy who is into older women, loves to watch anime, and has a big dick. He thinks he is funny, but is only funny because he laughs at himself. Has big muscles and is very strong basically a hot stud.

Jared has a massive dick.

by usswidowmaker5 January 25, 2022

Jared

This person will make you feel the lightest you’ve ever felt ever! Like a skinny skinny feather. Jared’s are unapologetic and charming with a fantastical sense of humor. He cherishes his friends and treats them like absolute guido/guidette royalty! Obsessed with gorillas and getting sticky and shaking ass.

Jared can simply whip the piss.

by Definedinmylanguage February 2, 2022

Jared

A drunken simp with a tiny dick who doesnt take no for an answer. he gets no bitches, but he has nice hair. the kinda dude who will send you some lil peep at 3 am cuz hes simping over the fact that you dont want him

ohoh Jared is fucked up and about to ruin everyone's night again

by anonymous April 3, 2022