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Stiffer than a preacher's cock up a calf's ass

A description of the state of rigor mortis, usually in a victim who has died where discovery of the death is delayed until after rigor has commenced

A reference to a rural belief that some members of the clergy frequently have anal sex with farm animals, particularly young calves
"They found him dead out in the woods. He was stiffer than a preacher's cock up a calf's ass."
by Redd D. Ringbone February 24, 2010
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Preacher's Hands

Often manicured, clean, soft, and free of scars, callouses, or any other evidence of actual labor, preacher's hands indicate a life of idle preaching.
"That Habitat for Humanity recruiter was full of shit. How can he claim to build anything? He's got total preacher's hands."

"My boss says he knows how to fix a car, but have you seen his preacher's hands? The only fixing he can do is with a credit card."
by Charmingly Grouchy June 29, 2010
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preacher cuff

Hateful Man. Person who pretends to be your buddy, then puts a knife or some time bomb bullshit in your brain.
This preacher cuff hook me
How so?
He told me he was yours.
by OhThisGuy21 October 22, 2017
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preachering

the doing of a preacher.
today, as i was preachering, i looked into the crowd and saw a giraffe staring at me.
by dr. fleuss August 6, 2011
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Preacher

Cockroach Priest; enough protestant shinanigans; just open up your church to a homeless person with light features. There are plenty of red heads whom are not protestants. There is a catholic church out there full of blondes laughing at you.
I talked to a pointless preacher about nothing at all.
by Alex phoenix October 18, 2023
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vulgar preacher

One who makes others praise out to god repeatedly, but is usually accompanied by retaliating curse words wished upon themselves.
Girl,,, he was blowing my back out so good, damn vulgar preacher had me cursing and begging god for him to not stop.
by Webstersnostradomis November 14, 2023
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Preacher cookie

A cookie you give your children, when you want them to go outside and not come back in until your parents are done doing the nasty.
“Kids come get your preacher cookie, you know what time it is!”
by Emjay bongsweed January 6, 2024
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