Reform Candidate

Noun;
Someone who's parents should have wiped them on the curtains approximately 9 months prior to their birth

I wouldn't vote for the reform candidate, even if it would mean I would never have to work again

by HyperSkylight July 3, 2024

we have decided to move forward with other candidates at this time

The last thing you'd wanna hear after a job interview, especially when you thought you did well

*receives email notification*
email: We HaVe DeCiDeD tO mOvE fOrWaRd WiTh OtHeR cAnDiDaTeS aT tHiS tImE
Me: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian August 31, 2022

Presidential Candidate

Another name for taking a shit

I Woke up this morning and had to take a presidential candidate

by horse23789 February 2, 2024

The Best Candidates

the best candidates for president and vice president gotta be Darrin Sanders and Alex Peguero.🤷🏻 ♀️

Sherman: “Make sure you vote for the best candidates”
lancers: “oh you mean Darrin and Alex?”
Sherman: “same thing”

by munchoflincoln September 15, 2022

dead end candidate

1. A thing that prevents others from beating it by being too good, but cannot not evolve to get any better.

2. Whatever SFIA (famous youtuber) mean when he said that dinosaurs are a dead end candidate. (forgot which video he used the term)

Dinosaur hater: you always talk about wanting dinosaurs to survive the asteroid impact, but you forgot that they were a dead end candidate. Dinosaurs do not have precision control of their hands to make technology. And, dinosaurs eat the animals that do have precision control, such as early primates and other dinosaurs that had better hands.
Dinosaur lover: oh yeah, you always liked the soviet union, but they were also a dead end candidate, but for social progress. The soviet union oppressed freedoms by banning lgbt. The soviet union had many times the economical and military power compared to the USA. And, the soviet union cannot do social progress because all their citizens were blue-pilled and too busy enjoying their large purchasing power to notice the oppression.

by nanjolno January 22, 2025

Brainsplatter Candidate

A fine upstanding individual who puts himself forward for painting a wall with brainsplatter delivered by a 5.56 NATO or larger calibre round from a military or law enforcement round. I.e. armed criminal/terrorist.

Let me be clear, if you point your weapon at the MP you become brainsplatter candidates.

by Slackerdawg April 19, 2023

paper candidate

A candidate representing a political party who seems highly unlikely to win, and although they are standing for office in good faith, may not be intending to campaign hard either. They usually do not have many resources, and may be political newcomers (or has-beens who are reluctant to leave politics). Their own organizations may not be willing or able to offer much support. As a result, they are usually not very visible on the campaign trail beyond putting up a few signs. In Quebec, the term for this type of candidate is “poteau” (post or pole), referring to signage on fenceposts or utility poles. Some may not campaign at all, just appearing on the ballot (“name on ballot”/NoB). Often this situation arises when a national political party wants to maintain its profile by running candidates in every district across the country, even ones that have traditionally shown little support.

This is not the same thing as a person who decides to run (or is manipulated into entering the race by other interests) in order to split the vote and prevent someone else from winning. An example of that from fiction is Willie Stark’s first gubernatorial campaign in “All The King’s Men”.

"When I went to vote today, I noticed Bob Aardvark's name at the top of the ballot. I didn't see him out campaigning and we didn't even get any campaign literature from him during the election. He must be a paper candidate. Wouldn't it be funny if a lot of people just voted for the first name they saw, and he got in~"

by TapirTrouble October 21, 2020