ass paralysis

noun, plural: ass paralyses
1. (Psychopathology). The inability to perform significant action due to the debilitating presence of magnificent ass

"C'mon Private! That leg injury ain't that bad!"
"It's not that, Colonel... It's Sgt. Courtney's ASS!"
"Awwww sheit. Pvt. Johnson's got ass paralysis!"

by ieatwhenimbored May 29, 2016

bed paralysis

when someone likes being in bed so much that they cannot get out of it.

i'd like to go to see a movie but i am currently suffering from bed paralysis....

by somone123 September 5, 2012

workload paralysis

The mental state of being unable to start any individual task because one's "to do" list is so overwhelming. Instead, the person suffering from this condition can only sit there in a position of miserable futility, unwilling to begin so as to delay the increased feelings of hopelessness in their short-term future, knowing that try as they might, a morning's work (with no breaks) will barely a make a dent in their ridiculously excessive list of jobs and, by lunch-time, they'll feel no more satisfied than at present.

Dev: "You started that report yet? It's due Friday." Sandy: "I can't get going. I've got workload paralysis."

by ZimmyJay84 December 4, 2021

pancake paralysis

When you eat pancakes but suddenly become overwhelmed with a sense of paralysis. This usually happens when you eat too much pancakes.

Elki: Hey fatshit take out the trash
Jon: Oh, darn. I would but I have pancake paralysis.

by billyboyo September 29, 2013

List Paralysis

The phenomenon that occurs when you become so overwhelmed by the sheer amount of items on your "to do" list that you can't function and nothing gets done.

"I have SO much on my 'to do' list that I have list paralysis! I don't know what item I should work on first."

by CJackson May 1, 2014

testicular paralysis

The techical term for "numb nuts". Testicular paralysis is a medical condition common among politicians, owners of large companies, managers of auto shops, auto service technicians with large egos and little knowledge of the automobile, delivery drivers for uniform companies, taxi cab drivers, most liberals, some conservatives, labor union presidents, etc. etc. etc.

I think Bush is a pretty decent President, but his testicular paralysis seems to be affecting his judgement regarding the U.S. borders.

by Jackball April 29, 2005

sexual paralysis

n.- when you accidentally see/hear someone engaged in sex or sexual activity and are so freaked and/or grossed out that you get away as fast as you can, but are left frozen by the absurdity of the situation and can only say 'ohmygodohmygod' when people ask you what is wrong.

"Abby and I were overcome by sexual paralysis when we walked in on Mike and his lady getting busy in the living room"

by wordsrundry December 3, 2007