The sadomasochistic act of inserting a live lobster into one's anus, prior to anal intercourse.
The aim of "Assing the Lobster" is for the penetrator to achieve orgasm without having their penis irreparably mutilated by the increasingly agitated lobster that is residing the host's rectum.
This incredibly reckless sexual act usually ends up with the host dying of internal haemorrhaging and the partner severely injured and mentally scarred. The lobster is generally indifferent once released from the host's devastated bunghole. 100% Would. Not. recommended.
The aim of "Assing the Lobster" is for the penetrator to achieve orgasm without having their penis irreparably mutilated by the increasingly agitated lobster that is residing the host's rectum.
This incredibly reckless sexual act usually ends up with the host dying of internal haemorrhaging and the partner severely injured and mentally scarred. The lobster is generally indifferent once released from the host's devastated bunghole. 100% Would. Not. recommended.
"Karen made me play assing the lobster last night. My cock looks like fucking slinky now."
"Jeez, man. Fuck Karen!" ...
"That was the problem! At least she's dead now"
"Jeez, man. Fuck Karen!" ...
"That was the problem! At least she's dead now"
by zoidburg_is_not_a_fan September 18, 2019
A phrase used to describe someone who's being a colossal dumbfuck. Mostly just used as a degrading insult. Is much more effective against black people.
References retards who go to the grocery store to buy lobster with food stamps, thinking they're bougie as fuck.
References retards who go to the grocery store to buy lobster with food stamps, thinking they're bougie as fuck.
by Tom Cruise Dawg December 27, 2023
Phil: I found out the fast way that "Larry" was really a "Louise", the egg sack scared me at first...I was like wtf is that!
Jerry: Then you figured "If you wanna do something right, you've got to do it yourself" and unzipped your pants.
Seth: Choking the lobster eh? I see ya.
Jerry: Then you figured "If you wanna do something right, you've got to do it yourself" and unzipped your pants.
Seth: Choking the lobster eh? I see ya.
by crackerdoctor June 19, 2011
To have a commercially sourced lobster comedically placed in ones privately owned pool. The practice of lobstering originated in the late 1900s before lobsters were seen as delicacy.
by KyHavers June 26, 2023
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