Own a musket for home defense

A copypasta that stems from a 2014 discussion on '4chan.' It is about a man in presumably the 18th Century defending his home from 4 intruders.

'Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.'

by sushm_ September 16, 2023

set ur own bedtime

a thing kids do where if their parents arent keeping track of time and it is past ur bedtime, you take advantage by not going to bed untill they yell "its way past ur bedtime!".

guy 1: im tired of having to go to bed at ten!

guy 2: how about you set ur own bedtime

guy 1: thats a great idea! but im gonna need a plan.

by nobody else here October 23, 2017

shifted his own stick

To masturbate.

"A truck driver who shifted his own stick in the cereal aisle of a Delaware County grocery store then ejaculated on a female customer last month was arrested in Kentucky on Sunday, police said." - Philadelphia Daily News 04/06/2011

by deserthillsguy April 26, 2011

Create Your Own Reality

A phrase aimed to motivate or inspire, often times used in a situation where you feel like the odds are stacked against you, but you do everything in your power to succeed regardless.

Don't give up, you gotta Create Your Own Reality.

by LGR STUDIOS May 23, 2023

Smooching my own Coochie

A term for female masturbation. Similar to the male term of beating my meat

"I'll be right out hun; I got to finish smooching my own Coochie"

by Prplskittle April 3, 2019

pump my own dick

Another version of toot my own horn.
To boast or brag about oneself.

I'm not trying to pump my own dick here but caught 3 touchdowns last week.

by TrumplovesPutin May 10, 2017

Brass my own ass

The equivalent of patting oneself on the back, or blowing one's own horn.

Not to brass my own ass, but I aced that quiz, and I didn't even study for it.

by Urban OP August 16, 2018