Turd raft

When you lay down a few sheets of toilet paper on the water surface before taking a dump, preventing water from splashing on your ass when the turd drops.

This toilet looks like it hasn't been cleaned in ages! I better set up a turd raft to protect by delicate bottom from the AIDS.

by mythirdeye006 May 16, 2011

shiny turd

When taking someone rough around the edges and making them look and act better, but still has a hint of stank.

Boy oh boy, look at Ryan now. From where he was last year to now? That's one shiny turd!

by Mackb4 March 12, 2017

Turd Furgeson

Its a funny name.

its bigger thena regular hat.

"yea, turd fergeson, its a funny name."

by Atlas' Rage April 9, 2005

Ghost Turd

Similar to a "Clean Pinch" in as much as you go to wipe your rusty sherrif's badge after taking a forest and low and behold no evidence that you actually had a turd.

Fred - "It stinks so bad in there you must have left skids in your pants?"

Bob - "The exact opposite my friend - the ghost turd rides again!"

by Harry Kovert February 14, 2014

turd tag

Tiny balls of dried shit that cling to your anal hairs. Also known as 'Dingle Berries' or 'Ass Cabbage'.

Oh no, I've got another turd tag tangled up in my arse crack.

by the stoneman March 22, 2008

Turd Master

Someone who is a complete and utter idiot. His/her incompetence has rendered them so completely useless, that the only thing you would put them in charge of is a pile of turds.

I ordered ONION RINGS but the Turd Master at the counter gave me fries - AGAIN!

by aspAddict September 1, 2008

Turd Burgaler

One who burgles turds.

Jim burgled Jamie's turds.

by Hugh G. Balls February 11, 2003