New Jersey - Part 4

Part 4 of my 5178 character essay on how amazing NJ is. We left off with the Jonas Brothers in our list of amazing famous people from NJ. We continue withDavid Copperfield, Donald Fagen, Jesse Eisenberg, Jim Miller, Dennis Rodman, Antonin Scallia, Amy Locane, E.J. Barthel, Vini Lopez, Bill Moyers, Anthony Stolarz, Allen Ginsburg, Gaetano Bresci, Larry Doby, Malcolm Forbes, Bruce Vilanch, THE HAPPY FITS (my second-favorite band), Katherine Renee Shindle, Lauren Schmetterling, Julie Anne Robbenhymer, Jessie Paege, Mark Blum, Cissy Houston, Gary Lewis, THE LIST. GOES. FUCKING. ON. We know what REAL pizza is, what a REAL bagel is, what a REAL TOMATO is. No, California doesn't have good tomatoes. Californian tomatoes are FUCKING BULLSHIT. Y'ALL'S TOMATOES ARE BULLSHIT. Y'ALL'S BAGELS.. THEY'RE FUCKING BULLSHIT. YOUR PIZZA?! I'll spell it out. B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T. Except for our next door neighbor New York, you have good pizza. We'll give you that. Go to my profile for part 5 i promise it's up these were all posted in the same like 10 mins.

That is the end of New Jersey - Part 4 lol bitches

by Stroughbries2763 September 3, 2022

New Jersey - Part 5

Here's Part 5 of my 5178 character essay on how amazing NJ is. Go to my profile for previous. And you know what we made? CAMPBELLS'. FUCKING. SOUP. CAMPBELLS IS ARGUABLY THE BEST SOUP COMPANY IN THE ENTIRE NATION AND YOU KNOW THAT. We also have Wawas but I'm not sure if they're actually FROM NJ they might be a Pennsylvania or Connecticut thing. I'll go look it up. Yeah they're from PA but still we have a lot of wawas while you californians don't. And yes, we're the most dense. We're also in the top half of populous states (I think). If you live here you can go out to New York with your friends for your occasional good time. (However, the traffic on the turnpike can get big. Also always remember to take the HOLLAND tunnel. Lincoln tunnel sucks and it's irrelevant.) Despite having to pay a ridiculous toll fee, it's worth it. We've got one of the most dense cities in the US (Jersey City). Go to my profile for the last part part 6 it's up because i posted them all in the same 10 mins (i wrote the entire essay at once but then realized i couldn't post it so broke it up into parts after)

that's the end of New Jersey - Part 5

by Stroughbries2763 September 3, 2022

New Jersey - Part 6

Last part, part 6 of how amazing NJ is which I can't put all in 1 part because of the character limit.I feel like you're about to say "Oh this guy talks so much about jersey" Yes. I talk about Jersey. I FUCKING LOVE JERSEY. IT'S MY STATE. Our state motto would be "Unwarranted Confidence, Unlimited Attitude." WE LOVE OUR STATE. WE ARE PROUD LITTLE MOTHERFUCKERS AND WE WILL STAY LIKE THAT. Also yes we have very amazing school system, better than something like Alabama's or Idaho's, we keep our state not smelly (granted, part of the GS parkway can get smelly but that space takes up like 5% of the state, which is not much.) Also yes Toyota is pretty much the only car you see. We have a very high Asian Population (That includes countries that aren't china btw) and we probably have at least 90% of all the emo kids in the country.
I have a lot more to say about our amazing state but I'm getting tired of typing and I've spent like almost an hour on this shit, so bye bitches i might make a continuation with parts 7-12 sometime if I get really bored but don't expect me to.

That's the end of New Jersey - Part 6 (and the end of this huge ass thing)

by Stroughbries2763 September 3, 2022

South River New Jersey

A place where you don’t even know if it’s real or not for being in central Jersey and you will find so many white boys trying to be hood or gang. The school cares more about dress code than the boys bathroom who smells like acid with shit. You can’t even talk shit in portuguese or Spanish because everyone understands.

“South River New Jersey is not even real, it’s central Jersey”

by pooppooppoop September 21, 2021