In the US, townies are a variety of resident of Massachusetts (which they will often refer to as “the Commonwealth” — e.g., “I couldn’t find an open packy in the whole Commonwealth”). Closely related to the “Masshole,” townies are often found in places like Revere and Chelmsford (only Wellesley is wholly townie-free). The townie is extremely proud of his Massachusetts parochialism and may not know that the Berkshires exist.
If the townie attends college at all, it is most likely the state college in his hometown (e.g., Bridgewatah State), which the townie will often refer to as “13th grade.” Despite the townie college experience involving being reunited with one’s high school chums, the townie will typically drop out mid-second semestah, whereupon he will most often pursue a life of “landscapin’ in the summah and snowplowin’ in the wintah,” often in pahtnahship with high school chums.
The townie hyperbolically enjoys Boston sports and vacations exclusively in Hyannis, which, despite its connections to the Kennedy family, is mostly strip malls and Super 8s.
Notable examples of townies include the entire Affleck family.
Townies have been depicted in media in “Beautiful Girls,” on “SNL” by J. Fallon and R. Dratch, and most famously in “Good Will Hunting,” the “Citizen Kane” of townieism (with Ben Affleck giving an Oscah-worthy performance as Ben Affleck).
Townies and Dunkin’ Donuts have a complex symbiotic relationship that Hahvuhd sociologists are still unable to explain.
If the townie attends college at all, it is most likely the state college in his hometown (e.g., Bridgewatah State), which the townie will often refer to as “13th grade.” Despite the townie college experience involving being reunited with one’s high school chums, the townie will typically drop out mid-second semestah, whereupon he will most often pursue a life of “landscapin’ in the summah and snowplowin’ in the wintah,” often in pahtnahship with high school chums.
The townie hyperbolically enjoys Boston sports and vacations exclusively in Hyannis, which, despite its connections to the Kennedy family, is mostly strip malls and Super 8s.
Notable examples of townies include the entire Affleck family.
Townies have been depicted in media in “Beautiful Girls,” on “SNL” by J. Fallon and R. Dratch, and most famously in “Good Will Hunting,” the “Citizen Kane” of townieism (with Ben Affleck giving an Oscah-worthy performance as Ben Affleck).
Townies and Dunkin’ Donuts have a complex symbiotic relationship that Hahvuhd sociologists are still unable to explain.
“My uncle once saw Whitey Bulger in the Dunky by the packy — the one that’s always filled with townies.”
by Maladroit1 May 11, 2025
Get the Townie mug.“Townie brain” is a condition in which someone thinks the entire world operates in the same way as the small town they grew up in. People with this affliction are often “townies”, and have never experienced life in any other place or perspective. Oftentimes they believe others have the same experiences as they do, or the same aspirations when in fact these people are boring and have little to no aspirations at all. Due to it’s regional nature, “townie brain” can be used to describe many different opinions and thought patterns.
Martha - “Um, I’m pretty sure most people don’t go to college after high school.”
Jane - “I’m pretty sure you just have townie brain.”
John - “What do you mean you can’t drive? Are you poor or something?
Brett - “You’ve got townie brain dude. I grew up in the city, we don’t need cars.”
Jane - “I’m pretty sure you just have townie brain.”
John - “What do you mean you can’t drive? Are you poor or something?
Brett - “You’ve got townie brain dude. I grew up in the city, we don’t need cars.”
by Hype Thetical July 4, 2025
Get the Townie Brain mug.Someone who is a Fan of 4*town, The fictional boyband from Turning red. If you looked this up you watch too much disney+
some guy : "Hey, Did you see that guy watching turning red? I think he likes 4*town."
Other guy : "Yeah, Dude, I think he's a 4*townie."
Other guy : "Yeah, Dude, I think he's a 4*townie."
by Wildidiot July 12, 2022
Get the 4*townie mug.by Mooseytortie October 10, 2023
Get the moosey tortie mug.Lauri Allan Törni (28 May 1919 – 18 October 1965), later known as Larry Alan Thorne, was a Finnish-born soldier who fought under three flags: as a Finnish Army officer in the Winter War and the Continuation War ultimately gaining a rank of captain; as a Waffen-SS captain (under the alias Larry Laine) of the Finnish Volunteer Battalion of the Waffen-SS when he fought the Red Army on the Eastern Front in World War II;3 and as a United States Army Major (under the alias "Larry Thorne") when he served in the U.S. Army Special Forces in the Vietnam War.
Person A: Louri Allan Törni hated the communists so much, he fought in 3 different armies, and 4 different wars against them.
Person B: Yeah, I know! Just The Fat Electrician's video about him.
Person B: Yeah, I know! Just The Fat Electrician's video about him.
by Dr. DaddyChadensky January 16, 2024
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