Morning slammer

A coffee induced, violent morning dump. Makes a “kerplunk” sound, a slam dunk of a deuce. Effects of which are amplified by a night of drinking.

Girlfriend: Here babe, made you a cup of coffee. How’s your hangover?
Boyfriend: Thanks, sweetie! It’s okay, my stomach hurts a bit from that 1am pizza though.

**10 minutes later**
Boyfriend: Holy shit!! I just laid a morning slammer. Where’s the plunger?!

by Elder Blice May 16, 2020

Morning Watermelon

The female version of morning wood considering it is pink, wet, and edible. Usually worse if you dream about anyone with a name starting with D.

I’ve heard that cords really help solve morning watermelon.

by watermalone69 January 22, 2019

Morning Zombie

The first thirty minutes of waking up which requires: NO TALKING, NO HONEY-DO LIST, and A CUP OF COFFEE. If these things are not given, the person will experience bitchiness syndrome.

I'm a Morning Zombie when I wake up, so be careful.

by Maxwell Harper August 2, 2016

Morning Jogger

A morning jogger is an absolute wet wipe of a person. Boring, predictable, annoying.

Have you heard much from Lew and Jon?

No, they have turned into morning joggers .

by WeNeedaMedic January 19, 2019

morning attitude

The attitude one has after being woken up (normal time or not). Hating everything and everyone for no reason for about an hour after they awake

Sorry I was rude earlier today, I just woke up with a bad morning attitude

by SuziiiieQ April 1, 2017

Morning Stanley

The rock-hard erection the often is present upon waking.

I woke up with such a Morning Stanley that my blanket look like a pup tent.

by whcgonzo November 6, 2012

Morning Won't

When a man wants to have sex in the morning but his partner doesn't.

I woke up with morning wood but she told me to go back to sleep. She had morning won't.

by Ice_Burn April 16, 2022