Reading the newspaper is the act of jacking off, beating the meat, choking the chicken, spanking the monkey, buffing the banana, wanking off, pocket pool, pleasure yourself, or just plain old masturbation.
Caitlyn: I don't read the newspaper not three, not four, but fifty-six times daily!
Taylor: Ohh girl, I got choo and I love using anime as an aid to reading the newspaper!
Monica: My mom reads the newspaper, every morning before breakfast..
Taylor: Ohh girl, I got choo and I love using anime as an aid to reading the newspaper!
Monica: My mom reads the newspaper, every morning before breakfast..
by t0uchmiib0dy August 2, 2008
Get the Reading the Newspaper mug.When you’re fucking your girl on Sunday so you have to throw the New York Times at her face because you are the fucking mailman. She dies on impact.
by 1pseudonym2 May 9, 2019
Get the The newspaper boy mug.