monkey blocker

similar to cock blocking except used in instances where you are prevented from masturbating or "spanking your monkey"

shawns wife and kid are huge monkey blockers.

by w00t_vantuckey February 12, 2008

Skyrim Monkey

Another name for someone who eats their own shit

Man: I met someone last night named Brenan, he was cool until I found out hes a Skyrim Monkey

by BrenanSuxCox April 12, 2020

Clitter Monkey

a degrading yet hilarious term for an ignorant black chick

That Sheronda was just yellin at me for no reason, shes such a fuckin clitter monkey

by Taydev January 05, 2009

Monkey Tea

Normal tea, made from a tea bag that isn't a specific blend (eg Earl Grey or green tea). Comes from the Cimpanzees that were used in TV adverts for PG Tips.

"What type of tea would you like? Earl Grey, Chamomile?"
"Nah, monkey tea will do fine thanks"

by NZ Gary January 13, 2010

Monkey Gut

“The name for your stomach after you eat a huge meal that causes your gut to bulge out and stager around like a monkey.”

“Aaaaah, I got monkey gut so bad I’m afraid Jane Goodal gonna try to study me.”

by Alibaster Slim August 06, 2012

Meditating Monkey

A person who remains calm in the midst of crisis or chaos.

All hell is breaking loose. Call in Bob. He's the designated Meditating Monkey

by Rastus McGee February 27, 2018

monkey's headbutt

When one unsheathes one's erect male member, and whips it forward, with the intention of striking a blow on the victim's forehead with the engorged bell-end.

"Listen love, tuck it in or I'll give you a right ol' monkey's headbutt"

by Davian Dent October 13, 2015