A history primarily based on what the United States could never accomplish: the right way to be a country.
U.S. dialogue:
Man 1: "So did you see the hockey game last night?"
Man 2: "Oh, I don't watch hockey. What with all the homo-erotic undertones- they threaten me as a person even though a gay person has never harmed me in any way, nor can I prove that the concept of homosexuality is why the world is coming to an end. Not to mention that I had that Republican rally last night where Grandma Abe blamed the Union for her broken hip. I mean really, if we were still allowed to enslave people then she wouldn't have tried to take the Jesus-head Christmas lights down by herself. Back then, all she woulda had to do was dangle some spoiled milk and bread crumbs in their faces and Tito or Red would be nothing but happy to do it."
Man 1: "I see your point. Geez, maybe if it weren't for Canada's History all those slaves wouldn't have had anywhere to flee and the Confederacy would still be in power. You can prolly even blame Canada's History for letting the gays think that they have any rights- come on, love and respect for every person of every orientation or faith is such a pipe dream."
Man 2: "Speaking of pipe dream- got any weed?"
Man 1: "Oh ya man- its the good stuff from Vancouver."
Man 2: "Sweet."
Canadian Dialogue:
Man 1: "So did you see the hockey game last night?"
Man 2: "Ya- it was good... eh?"
Man 1: "So did you see the hockey game last night?"
Man 2: "Oh, I don't watch hockey. What with all the homo-erotic undertones- they threaten me as a person even though a gay person has never harmed me in any way, nor can I prove that the concept of homosexuality is why the world is coming to an end. Not to mention that I had that Republican rally last night where Grandma Abe blamed the Union for her broken hip. I mean really, if we were still allowed to enslave people then she wouldn't have tried to take the Jesus-head Christmas lights down by herself. Back then, all she woulda had to do was dangle some spoiled milk and bread crumbs in their faces and Tito or Red would be nothing but happy to do it."
Man 1: "I see your point. Geez, maybe if it weren't for Canada's History all those slaves wouldn't have had anywhere to flee and the Confederacy would still be in power. You can prolly even blame Canada's History for letting the gays think that they have any rights- come on, love and respect for every person of every orientation or faith is such a pipe dream."
Man 2: "Speaking of pipe dream- got any weed?"
Man 1: "Oh ya man- its the good stuff from Vancouver."
Man 2: "Sweet."
Canadian Dialogue:
Man 1: "So did you see the hockey game last night?"
Man 2: "Ya- it was good... eh?"
by canadiansabatour February 5, 2010
Get the canada's history mug.A term referring to the past of the GREAT nation of Canada. However, some mistaken it with a sex act due to misinformation from Stephen Corbert.
by IamCanadianCheers February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's History mug.A sexual act, where a man takes a dump on a woman's face, makes her give him and blow job, and then after he cums on her face, he pees in her mouth.
Dude 1: "Did you hear what Johnny did last night? He did the Canada's History on that biatch!"
Dude 2: "Oh snap my good friend!"
Dude 2: "Oh snap my good friend!"
by Canada'sHistory February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's History mug.A sex act first proposed by Sir Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. He suggested that it would involve moose antlers, maple syrup, and the Stanley Cup, but left the rest up to users of the internet.
Canada's history is performed by pressing moose antlers into a woman's vagina and rubbing it with them for initial stimulation. After about three minutes, the maple syrup is applied as a lubricant (WARNING: this is not advised). The two people engage in sexual intercourse in whichever position they like. When the man reaches a climax, he ejaculates into the Stanley Cup and the woman drinks the semen from the cup.
There are surely other, much more depraved versions of Canada's History, but this is the basic version.
Canada's history is performed by pressing moose antlers into a woman's vagina and rubbing it with them for initial stimulation. After about three minutes, the maple syrup is applied as a lubricant (WARNING: this is not advised). The two people engage in sexual intercourse in whichever position they like. When the man reaches a climax, he ejaculates into the Stanley Cup and the woman drinks the semen from the cup.
There are surely other, much more depraved versions of Canada's History, but this is the basic version.
by What the Fuck Robot February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's History mug.A skin condition of the area between one's sphincter and gender-specific anatomy in which very recent hair-removal, by wax or otherwise, and exposure to cool air, leaves the area with a purple hue and exaggerated topography, much like Canadian tundra.
I was going head-on into that the back way, but I had to cancel that hike, with all that Canada's History going on.
by dadafari February 5, 2010
Get the Canada's History mug.A sex act originating from Canada in which it involves moose antlers, maple syrup, and the Stanley cup. The details are unknown. First mentioned in America by Stephen Colbert on his show the Colbert Report.
by Terrence Doghead February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's History mug.A depraved sex act including, but not exclusively, double-vaginal penetration, double-anal penetration, small furry animals that have been shaved and greased, and lubrication made out of expired milk.
by just.jb February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's History mug.