Jared

Manipulative, Asshole, probably a dude that would try to finger a bitch on a first date.
Probably someone who would guilt trip you into staying them by forcefully bringing you gifts you never asked for.

“Bro did you hear Jared got cheated on?

Man that sucks, he was pussy whipped anyway.”

by pineappleexpress333 October 8, 2022

Jared

A drunken simp with a tiny dick who doesnt take no for an answer. he gets no bitches, but he has nice hair. the kinda dude who will send you some lil peep at 3 am cuz hes simping over the fact that you dont want him

ohoh Jared is fucked up and about to ruin everyone's night again

by anonymous April 3, 2022

I wish I was Jared, 19

This phrase can be seen in the comment section of outrageous or otherwise shocking posts to express disturbance, confusion, or surprise. It refers to the popular vine “My name is Jared, I’m 19, and I never learned how to fucking read”

*A tweet vividly describing someones sexual fantasy involving feet, motor oil, 13 male strippers, toothpaste, used toilet paper, and a bidet*

Comment section:
“Man, I wish I was Jared, 19”

by Seen_too_much June 7, 2024

jared

jared is a homosexual boy who goes to tim hortons too much and likes to fuck thots in the comfort of his basement to prove he is not in fact gay. He is also a member of the thot patrol and is a major ladies man, which is how he's successful in luring thots into his dungeon. he also plays minecraft lol loser.

jared SUCKS i dOn't nEed a sentence TO provE iT

by hyfrsfjhjitrsctvbghnjml May 24, 2019

Jared

A Nigerian husky dragon who has a small peen.

That weird Samoan named Jared is a Nigerian husky dragon!

by Sfjjhddcvv6787gjk June 7, 2019

Jared

Huge cock.

Jared has a huge cock.

by Staxlamp May 12, 2018

Jared Effect Theory

Aka the ‘Jared Meeks Phenomenon’ occurs when, something that should go wrong won’t, to enforce one’s ego and ignorance on those around him.

The Jared Effect Theory would consist of someone telling you something profound/unbelievable, then the subject will either complete the task and get consumed by self affirmations, or the subject might come up with any excuse in the world to avoid being looked at as human.

by imchampurchump March 28, 2025