Metaphysical Technologies

The tools and gadgets designed to interact with or measure the non-physical realm, ranging from ancient dowsing rods to modern "quantum resonance" devices that look like they were stolen from a low-budget sci-fi set. This includes pendulums for yes/no questions (accuracy rate: slightly better than a coin flip), EMF meters for ghost hunting (which also detect microwaves), and apps that claim to photograph your aura (they just blur the photo and add colors). The most reliable metaphysical technology remains a strong gut feeling, which requires no batteries and has a 100% chance of being ignored.

Metaphysical Technologies Example: "He spent $300 on a 'quantular' device that promised to communicate with interdimensional beings. After a week, all he'd received was static and a message that seemed to be asking for a Netflix password. The metaphysical technology was either broken or the interdimensional beings were just really bored."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Metaphysical Engineering

The practice of trying to build, repair, or optimize the non-physical structures of reality, such as your soul, your karma, or the universal consciousness. It's the ambitious attempt to rewire your spiritual circuitry, reinforce your astral body's load-bearing walls, or install a better filtering system for negative energy. The problem is that the blueprints are invisible, the tools are metaphorical, and the building inspector is your own ego, which is notoriously lenient about code violations. Most metaphysical engineering projects result in a structure that looks great on paper but collapses under the slightest emotional pressure.

Metaphysical Engineering Example: "He thought he'd done the metaphysical engineering work to create an impenetrable shield of white light around himself. But when his mother criticized his life choices, the shield evaporated instantly, revealing it was made of nothing but good intentions and a lack of boundaries."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Metaphysical Social Sciences

The study of how groups of people collectively shape, and are shaped by, metaphysical beliefs and experiences. It examines the social dynamics of UFO convention attendees, the hierarchy of Reiki master circles, and the unspoken rules of the new age bookstore (thou shalt not mock the angel cards). It explores how shared beliefs in the unseen create community, establish status, and occasionally lead to conflict over whose unseen being is more powerful. It's anthropology for people who believe in fairies.

Example: "A study in metaphysical social sciences observed that at psychic fairs, the booths with the most elaborate purple velvet drapes consistently attracted more clients, regardless of the psychic's actual accuracy. It confirmed that in the realm of the unseen, presentation is 90% of the game."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Metaphysical Sociology

The specific analysis of group behavior among communities bonded by metaphysical beliefs, focusing on the emergence of shared language, rituals, and social norms. It explains why crystal enthusiasts all seem to develop the same gentle, ethereal speaking voice, why yoga retreats inevitably lead to a group consensus on the best brand of coconut oil, and why any gathering of mediums eventually results in someone "channeling" a message that conveniently confirms what everyone already wanted to hear. Metaphysical sociology proves that even the most individualistic spiritual journeys often end in a group hug.

Example: "At the full moon circle, a fascinating example of metaphysical sociology occurred: despite everyone having a unique, personal connection to the divine, they all simultaneously decided that the proper way to release intentions was to burn bay leaves. No one could explain why, but the group consensus was absolute."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Metaphysical Philosophy

The branch of thought that questions the very nature of existence, reality, and perception, often leading to a state of profound confusion best treated with a strong cup of tea. It asks: Is the world we perceive real, or is it a simulation? Are we individual souls, or one consciousness having a billion different arguments with itself? And if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, but a squirrel is there, does the squirrel's opinion count? Metaphysical philosophy doesn't provide answers, but it does give you a sophisticated way to say "I have no idea what's going on."

Example: "Staring at his own reflection in a dark window, he entered a state of deep metaphysical philosophy. 'If I am not my body, and I am not my thoughts, then who is the 'I' that is currently wondering if it's time for lunch?' He then decided that lunch was a question for another, less confusing self and ordered pizza."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Metaphysical Cyber-Nihilism

A variant that grounds cyber-nihilism in metaphysical speculation about the nature of reality, arguing that the Wired is not just a network but a window into the fundamental structure of existence. Metaphysical Cyber-Nihilism draws on idealism, panpsychism, and process philosophy to argue that reality itself is informational—that the universe is a kind of Wired, and our local network is just a fragment of a cosmic information-processing system. To embrace the Wired is to align with reality's deepest nature, to become part of the cosmic computation. The destruction of meatspace is not annihilation but integration, the absorption of the local into the universal.

Metaphysical Cyber-Nihilism Example: "He spent years developing a metaphysical system in which the universe was a vast information-processing entity, and human networks were just local instances of cosmic computation. 'Metaphysical cyber-nihilism,' he called it. 'We're not destroying the world; we're aligning it with its true nature. The Wired is reality recognizing itself.' His followers built shrines to routers and prayed to packets. Whether they were crazy or visionary, the network carried their prayers either way."

by Abzugal Nammugal Enkigal February 19, 2026