take a real one

function: verb

1. To 'take a real one' is to have a bowel movement that is particularly forceful or emotionally necessary. The feelings that accompany 'taking a real one' are typically frustration, surprise, and/or anger. To 'take a real one' is to figuratively unload a pile of feces onto a situation which bears no other possible reaction. 'Taking a real one' also implies that you can't even mentally just imagine crapping on something, you are are so annoyed that it is literally forcing a big load of pants-pudding from your agitated lower intestine.

1. I can't deal with this any more. I'm going to go take a real one.

2. Oh for the love of Pete! I just lost my entire thesis. Thanks a lot Microsoft Word! This makes me want to take a real one.

3. For the entire movie, all I could think about was taking a real one.

4. I'd prefer to take a real one rather than stay at this bar for another second.

by Alana Post October 5, 2005

take a huge one

While visiting a friend or relative or even attending a party, one elects to use the most accessible bathroom possible and completely decimate and destroy it with a monster dump. This is usually followed by a response of "Thanks man," "Comon," "Asshole, " or "Way to Fucking Go!"

Dave decided to take a huge one at the party last night and crippled the bathroom.

by Maunas December 21, 2008

Take it up with my butt because that's the only one that gives a crap

A phrase you can inject in a conversation after someone begins to complain or go on about something that you are not interested in.

Take it up with my butt because that's the only one that gives a crap.

by General America December 19, 2010

national take-your-infant-daughter-to-work-while-you-desperately-try-to-hire-a-new-nanny-and-neither-one-of-you-has-slept-a-wink-day

bojack reference LMAO

"okay, nanny quits no sweat. it just so happens to be national take-your-infant-daughter-to-work-while-you-desperately-try-to-hire-a-new-nanny-and-neither-one-of-you-has-slept-a-wink-day"

by petethecatissoooocoool February 5, 2023

Complain on one hand, take a dump in someone's boot on the other hand and see which is more interesting to talk about

A twist on the saying ,"shit in in one hand and ask with the other and see which one gets filled 1st", targeted at complainers and whiners.

Whiney person: Everything sucks as usual.
Me: Complain on one hand, take a dump in someone's boot on the other hand and see which is more interesting to talk about.
Whiney person: That's the last time I complain to you about my life and also why are my boots in the bathroom?

by The Dark Anus (JC) February 26, 2019

to the left, take it back now yall, one hop this time

the cult chants this in my livingroom while i bleed out on the floor

Cultists "to the left, take it back now yall, one hop this time"
Me *bleeding on the floor after being stabbed 80 times*

by squiggatron April 22, 2020

Take-Ones-Dough

A Korean martial art with an emphasis on kicks. There are several miss-spellings including 'Tae Kwon Do', 'Taekwondo' or 'Taekwon-Do'.

Take= Means to collect
Ones= A person or individuals

Dough= Money

Person 1: "I know a guy that is a black belt in Take-Ones-Dough he also teaches it"

Person 2: "Well he must be good at it then"

by tak_tak November 1, 2021