Girl1: my boyfriend hasn't had sex for awhile and he has been in the bathroom more often
Girl2: mm gurl yo man is either a John Hancock or he cheaten On u
Girl2: mm gurl yo man is either a John Hancock or he cheaten On u
by C0mm0n s3ns3 July 23, 2018
Get the John Hancockmug. John is probably disassociating right now. Slipping in and out of dismal self doubt and a mind void of thought or reason. A small drop of drool escaping the corner of his mouth catches his attention and, for a brief moment, he is aware of himself. Numbly, he checks his email to see if his favorite store has a discount code for something he might find vaguely interesting. Buying and consuming is one of the few ponds of dopamine not yet fully dried up in the barren desert that is his sinking consciousness.
A chime sounds off. He is receiving a call.
He is excited more now than he has been all day!
Rushing to flush the toilet and wash, he checks the number. It is unknown.
“Hello? John speaking!” He barks, almost dropping his cracked iPhone 7.
“Hi John, can you hear me?”
A sweet voice coos from the line.
“Yes, of course! What can I do for you?”
He says curiously.
“Hi John! My name is Anna. We have been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty.”
...
A chime sounds off. He is receiving a call.
He is excited more now than he has been all day!
Rushing to flush the toilet and wash, he checks the number. It is unknown.
“Hello? John speaking!” He barks, almost dropping his cracked iPhone 7.
“Hi John, can you hear me?”
A sweet voice coos from the line.
“Yes, of course! What can I do for you?”
He says curiously.
“Hi John! My name is Anna. We have been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty.”
...
by SomeoneAnyoneJustNotJohn November 22, 2021
Get the Johnmug. by Dhdhdbd May 6, 2021
Get the Johnmug. 
The funniest person ever.
person 7045: this music is so bad i wish I could find a better artist
person 7046: I know a better artist
person 7045: who?
person 7046: John Holden.
person 7045: Who. The. hell. is. John. Holden.
Person 7046: John Holden Deez Nuts, LolZ.
person 7045:ok
person 7046: wait wha
person 7046: I know a better artist
person 7045: who?
person 7046: John Holden.
person 7045: Who. The. hell. is. John. Holden.
Person 7046: John Holden Deez Nuts, LolZ.
person 7045:ok
person 7046: wait wha
by EpiKGaMer694201337AmOguS October 13, 2021
Get the John Holdenmug. Johna John is a branch of species from homosapiens, belonging to the family Hominidae, and the order Primates. They are very rare to find and are very informative to observe. 'Johna John' behaviour is very complex and retarded; they are the most inarticulate species ever to find on Earth, and have been around since 190,000 B.C.E. However they die out due to their low levels of intelligence, and so are very rare to find.
John was walking through the evergreen, lush forest, trekking through the undergrowth, when he found a Johna John bent double, licking water from a pond with algae infested water.
by cocksucker699 February 8, 2024
Get the Johna Johnmug.