Church Police

People you know from church, but are not really friends with outside of church. They notice you at Wal-Mart on Sunday afternoon after you skipped church that day and approach you to announce that they missed you in church, expecting either a doctor's note or an explanation as to where you were.

Wife: "Shoot! I ran into the Church Police while I was at Wal-Mart."
Husband: "Who was it?"
Wife: "Betty and George."
Husband: "Did they say anything?"
Wife: "Yeah. 'We missed you today at church.'"
Husband: "What'd you say?"
Wife: "One of the kids was sick."

by Turkey Trot March 14, 2011

church on the move

If a cuz yells church on the move you gotta drop every thing and go.

I saw one of my ex's while in the club with my homies and yelled church on the move

from snoop's fatherhood

by Karlea January 13, 2008

church farter

one who let's loose a silent but deadly in the house of god, nearly killing every single parishioner with in a 10 pew radius.

son: do i have to go to church? the church farter is in full effect.

father: sorry, that was me last time

son: o yea mom made cabbage.

by seriously123? November 5, 2010

Church Club

A term for youth group

I don't know nick, i'm scared to go to church club

by JAIME3 October 22, 2006

Neon Church

A slang word for a “blow job” after being sodomized in the anus.

I pulled out of her ass and shoved it in her ass, my girlfriend enjoyed neon church this morning.

by Drugsbitch December 22, 2018

church whore

Any woman who was a young prostitute and now behaves holier than thou ,but fails to realize everyone in church knows she sucked more cock than Linda Lovelace.

The priest said"" Get Sarah the church whore to help with the bake sale, she's good at selling things.""

by Dr. Jekyll&Mr.Hyde June 26, 2019

God Church

A word used by a mentally ill non-human youtuber named jack paule. Basically he's retarded.

Jack Paul: Hey babe-
Totally fine non-retarded girlfriend: Hey you're kinda retarded so i'm breaking up with you
Jack paul: WHAT!!... BUT... by the way my new merch is selling like a GOD CHURCH
* Speech 0 *

by jaCK Paule July 15, 2019